Most people have two versions of themselves. There’s the version that they put on display for the world, and then there’s the version of themselves, the true version, that they keep hidden away.
Sure, everyone keeps some of their cards close to their chest. It’s perfectly normal. People could be judgemental creatures and there are just some things that we don’t want to be judged on. But here’s the reality of the situation:
If you want to be trusted, you have to be honest.
Truly authentic people, the people you want to surround yourself with, they don’t care about your perfect angle in your Tinder pic or what your “about me” section has to say. They want to cut through to the person you are because that’s the only way you can be trusted.
It’s easy to feel like the person you are isn’t someone worth knowing, worth loving, and worth being around. We know every bad thing about ourselves, everything we’ve messed up, every time we’ve said the wrong thing. But it’s likely that you’re blowing those things out of proportion. You don’t need to be afraid to put the real you on display for the world. If someone doesn’t like it, they’re not the person you want in your life anyway.
Instead, start sharing with the people in your life what it is that makes you tick. Show the world your personal philosophies. Tell us about what went right, what went wrong, what you’re thinking, what you’re feeling. Tell us about the times you’ve won and lost. Tell us what’s really on your mind.
Tell us what you actually want. Tell us what kind of career you’d like, what you’d like to study, where you’d like to travel, who you want to know, the kind of person you want to love.
This kind of honesty might leave you feeling vulnerable.
Hell, it probably should. If you’re never vulnerable, how can you expect anyone to fully trust you?
The authentic people in your life should be able to look to you as a truly open person, someone who wouldn’t lie. Someone who is true to themselves and to you.
But as you open up, be careful that your “truth” isn’t just another Okcupid profile. Don’t brag or, even worse, humblebrag. Don’t put up a front. The authentic people of the world will be able to easily see through it, just like they can on a dating profile. They won’t trust you if the only person you’re showing them is a badass, flawless one.
The you, you show off the world, may be comforting to you, but the people who get truly close to you will eventually realize it’s all a lie. So tell the truth and people will truly trust you.