1. “He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.'” (Psalm 46:10)
Stillness. Don’t be afraid of it. I know when you are quiet your mind will fill up with all thoughts about the one you miss. But when you’re quiet, that’s when you can also unlock some of your memories as well. Being still, you will be able to remind yourself that although things seem chaotic, God is still God.
It is then that God can remind you of his faithfulness. Of all the times you didn’t think you could handle what was before you, yet God gave you strength, he enabled you to do what you thought was impossible. God sees your weariness. He will enable you to take this journey. He’s right with you.
2. “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7)
You might feel numb today. You may find yourself feeling numb for a while, but when you start to feel anxious, this is a perfect verse for you. This verse is a reminder that God cares about you, which means he cares about anything you are concerned with. So when you start to feel anxious, picture yourself handing that care into the large hands of God. He’s already aware of every single one.
When someone you love dies, you’ll go through many feelings. Being overwhelmed is one of them. You’ll start to worry that you will not be able to make it without your loved one. If you’ve lost your husband, maybe he made decisions which are now yours to make. If you’ve lost your parent, you ache inside, just wanting to talk to them one more time. And if you’ve lost a child, you feel that part of you has died as well. And yet, God knows how you feel right now. He’s the only one who really does, no matter how many others claim to know. God made that heart of yours that is now shattered. Give him your cares.
3. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)
You feel lost. You don’t understand how you will make it without your loved one. You keep trying to understand, but you can’t. God tells us to take whatever trust we have and put it in him. He tells us to lean NOT on our own understanding. And when we’re in grief, we understand even less.
But you’re scared because you don’t know what your future holds. The good news is God knows. And not only does he know, he is willing to direct you if you ask. So today you might be scared, but know this: he’s waiting to lead you. Just take his outstretched hand.
4. “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)
God will supply all your needs. You may not know how he’s going to do it, and that’s okay. He knows. The good news is you don’t have to worry about his methods. He thinks differently than we do. We have finite minds but His mind is infinite.
So if you’re a list person, make your list. And then pray that list to him. I’m sure he already knows it, but if you list it, then you can also praise God when you see him supply each and every one. One of God’s names is Jehovah Jireh, which means the Lord will provide. Not the Lord might provide. And God IS trustworthy.
Fight any temptation to believe God’s not trustworthy. After all, you prayed that your loved one would live. And God didn’t answer that prayer. Remember, you and I don’t see the whole picture. And one day we will understand the things that are unclear to us now. Thank God for the fact he is going to supply your needs just like Jesus thanked God for answering his prayer about Lazarus. He thanked God before he saw his friend take one step. That is faith.
5. “Record my misery; list my tears on your scroll—are they not in your record?” (Psalm 56:8)
God sees our tears as something valuable. Remember even Jesus wept. God is close enough to gather your tears. And he’s even keeping track of them. So when you are tempted to think God doesn’t care, just remember, he values every single tear. Even the one that is sliding down your cheek now. Not one of them is lost.
Never be ashamed of your tears. God made our emotions and they are important. When you grieve, some people may even cry with you. Some may not, but they still hurt with you.
I once spoke at an event and two women approached me. One said, “Your words really touched me in a deep way. I’m sorry for my tears.”
The other woman said, “I was touched as well. I’ll be crying on the way home.”
You will sometimes feel all cried out, but the smallest thing can stir your heart and a wave of tears will wash over you again. Let them come. They are healing. And trying not to cry delays the grieving process.