Make sure you avoid these things, I’ve seen the strongest of people break apart because of these things.
It takes very minute and menial things to slowly damage a relationship over time, things that aren’t noticeable in the beginning and subtly affect even the strongest of relationships. Make sure you avoid these things, I’ve seen the strongest of people break apart because of these things. Let’s begin.
1. Don’t try to read their mind
When couples start trying to go into each other’s heads is when things start going bad. You’re not supposed to be a mind reader, you’re not supposed to know what they’re thinking, this frame of mind will make you go paranoid very early on and the element of trust will go straight out the window. Be okay with the fact that you both are individuals and neither of you are supposed to know how the other person thinks, let each other breathe, let each other grow.
2. Don’t be hyper critical of each other
Criticism is healthy when it’s kept in a controlled environment. It can go out of control very quickly, no one likes to be with a person who keeps criticising their every move and everything about their personality, that’s when criticism becomes an unhealthy habit rather than being something healthy and positive. We all have our own inner critics within ourselves and sometimes that critic can actually hurt the people we love. Be very careful with your words.
3. Don’t keep unrealistic expectations from one another
Expectations need to be kept in constant check, they need to be close to reality, once expectations become unrealistic they start becoming difficult for the person you’re expecting from. You can’t ask your partner to do things you yourself wouldn’t do. It’s not humanly possible for anyone to meet impossible standards of expectations for anyone, it slowly becomes a burden on them and they start thinking like they’re not right for you, do you want your partner to feel that way about you? Keep realistic expectations.
4. Don’t try controlling each other
Controlling relationships are the worst of all, I even think they’re worse than “Dragged Relationships” because nobody likes to be dictated and sometimes they just don’t want to say no because the other person means more than anything to them. When love turns controlling, it is very destructive and it gets very suffocating for both the people involved. Don’t try controlling their actions, don’t try controlling their emotions, don’t try controlling their lives, give each other enough space and enough personal time and personal power, don’t be a dictator. Relationships are about two people working together, not one person controlling the other.
5. Don’t start comparing
Relationships become a burden when one person is constantly compared to someone else. I used to be that person, I used to compare my girlfriend with other girls, I even once compared her to my ex which was a horrible move on my part. Everyone you meet, get to know, share feelings with, everyone is different. Your partner is different from anyone else you’ve met in your life, they have their own uniqueness and their own individuality, comparing them to someone else is certainly unfair to them and you should give them their own place in your life rather than trying to fit them into someone else’s shoes.
6. Don’t shield your emotions
Some people have a lot of baggage, a lot of emotional baggage, certain events in their past that change them into someone else. For example, if someone badly used your emotions in the past and took them for granted, you obviously felt protective of your emotions and you decided to shield them up to never let yourself get hurt in the same way again, but it’s not fair to anyone else who tries to be someone in your life, it’s not fair to the person who wants to make you happy again and the person who wants to make you breathe again, take your time and give those shields up, make it fair for them, they need their own fair chance.
7. Don’t let work come in between
For the sake of your own happiness, do NOT let your work or business get in the middle of your relationship. First of all, everyone is busy, there is no such thing as being “too busy for someone”, you know how important your partner is to you and how much they mean to you and the place they hold in your life, don’t let anything else come in between of that. Don’t let your own responsibilities come in the way, be busy in your own personal time but don’t let them feel ignored.
8. Don’t elongate fights
The one major thing that ruins relationships very slowly is when two people start elongating the fights, fights are meant to have proper closure and should never be taken to bed, fights need to end before you two can start a new day, it’s very unhealthy for anyone to start another day with all of the negativity of last night in mind, it’s not the way anyone should live. Fighting is very normal, everyone fights, I fight, my friends fight, but we all end those fights on a properly fixed note rather than leaving those emotions for later.
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