Sometimes, we might find ourselves in the middle of a relationship, when something just doesn’t feel right, it feels like something is missing but you can’t quite figure out what it is, here are some ways you can tell a healthy relationship from one that is unhealthy.
1. Mutual goals vs. Self-indulgence
The difference between being single and being in a relationship is, focusing on individual growth and growing as a couple, respectively. If you or your partner are still more focused on yourself and always keep yourself first, then this signifies you’re not giving your all to the relationship or don’t give the relationship its due position. A healthy relationship ensures mutual growth, you both respect each other’s dreams, support and aid them in getting there.
2. Rebuilding vs. Revenge
Arguments, discussions, fights; these may sound bad but they can be productive if used as tools to better understand each other, they always need to be resolved and used to positively rebuild your relationship. Holding grudges, feeling vengeful towards your partner are signs of an unhealthy relationship and an aggressive personality. After a fight, the two of you should be moving on from it and making the possible amends to avoid having the same conflict again, if you constantly want to make things even with your partner, watching their steps closely and wanting them to make the slightest mistake so you can pounce on them and make them payback, is damaging.
3. Confidentiality vs. Exposure
None of us is perfect, we all have flaws which make us vulnerable, we only let certain people see our weaknesses. In a healthy relationship, both partners respect each other’s imperfections, without mocking them or holding it against them. These shortcomings should always stay between you two, the intimate details and other private matters should not be discussed with even your closest friends and family. In an unhealthy relationship, one or both partners don’t respect this privacy, they openly discuss and then complain to anybody who is ready to lend an ear.
4. Want vs. Need
When you’re in a good relationship, you want to do things for your partner, to bring them happiness, your actions are driven by genuine desire. On the contrary, when your partner demands and you find yourself fulfilling those demands because you need to, instead of giving it freely, you do it out of guilt or some other emotion that is forcing you to just give them what they want.
5. Accepting vs. Changing
Love is all about enjoying your similarities and respecting the differences, you accept the person for who they are and what they want to be, instead of trying to fit them in your perspective of how they should be. In a healthy relationship, you feel yourself and you don’t have to continuously pretend or try to conform to your partner’s likes and dislikes. You need to feel absolutely comfortable as an individual, in an unhealthy relationship one person tries to change or control their partner’s behaviour which leads to insecurities.
6. Giving vs. Investing
When you’re in a healthy relationship, all you want to do is give your loved one everything and anything it takes to make them happy, without expecting anything in return. It is true that relationships are built on give and take, but that happens when both people give selflessly, it is not a business deal where you invest and expect profit in return, the right balance is created when both people give freely and selflessly, there’s no price to be paid or expected.
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