Relationships are one of the perks of the living. They are those wonderful aspects of life that bring joy to all those who truly revel in them. It would be prudent to point out at this point that despite our often well meaning endeavours and hopes for them, not all relationships are meant to last forever. There. I said it. And if I understand human nature, as well as the world we live in, even a slightest, then I daresay most of you would agree.
Since after all, how many of you can say with conviction that all of your relationships, whether they be romantic ones or platonic, have survived the greater portion of your lives, and continue to do so? While you may, for a moment, mistake me for a wholly cynical sort for that train of thought, hold your horses right there. And before you allow yourself to do anything of the sort, permit me to introduce to you these 8 signs that are, I believe, indicative of a relationship worth keeping.
1. Realising that it could one day end
It would be well-advised to be cognizant of the fact that it is wholly possible for a relationship to have run its course. Not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever, and numerous people come into and go out of our lives with time. To be able to accept that fact itself is a source of peace and contentment. And when we are on board with this truth, we shall better be able to enjoy our relationship to the fullest with complete abandon. After all, Shakespeare did concur with it too; all the world’s a stage….
2. An extension of the human experience
There is always a space. A space that is present between two people, and when they are together, they fill it up with all kinds of things. With conversation, with banter, but most importantly, with their own lives. Realising that that space always needs to be treasured and filled up with the simple pleasures of life is essential to the continuity and well-being of any relationship. As it is of paramount importance to realise that other people are not the basis for our happiness. They are part of our lives, but do not form the entirety of it. So to expect them to fill that space up for us with their constant presence or anything else that we expect them to fill it up with, is a mistake.
3. Avoid psychological manipulation
Several people derive great pleasure in involving in mind games. These may keep your partner occupied for a certain period of time, but no one can survive or enjoy the nerve wracking, agonizing aggravation that psychological manipulation eventually brings. If you wish for your relationship to sustain the test of time and among other things, then avoid playing games with their minds. They are not as fun as you may have been led to believe.
4. Let the past remain where it is
It is human nature to be wary of the future based on past experiences. Often we have emotionally disturbing and hurtful experiences in our past and when faced with a similar situation, it is not uncommon for us to juxtapose the two events and search for patterns. But what we don’t often realise is that we may be stuck in those past experiences and thus create false patterns. In order to move on and let go, we need to understand that the past needs to be just that. The past.
5. Diversity is healthy
Dissimilarities are not an intimation of everything that is wrong in a relationship. If you think that because your partner and you don’t share a love of the same kind of music or food, you are headed for disaster, then think again. Not sharing a love of high energy physical activity or extreme sports does not equate to an unsuccessful future for your relationship. Diversity is healthy, and differences in taste ought to be respected.
6. You raise one another’s spirits
It may seem easier in some ways to indulge further into the depths of self pity upon an occurrence in your relationship that brings both or either of you misery. After all, feeling sorry for yourself and deriving pleasure from it are easier than making the effort to rectify the situation. But one of the things that keeps a relationship going is the ability and willingness to lift one another’s spirits.
Whether it is invoking one’s inner child and going out to play on the front lawn, or going on a walk on the beach and letting nature take its course to soothe you, or even just holding your partner’s hand and doing the simple act of listening; it is important to simply be there for the other person so that they can shine from within.
7. You know it’s not a competition
The most successful relationships are those in which instead of engaging in a competition involving a comparison of all things right with him/her and all those wrong with you, and vice versa, you welcome each other’s achievements and prowess. Your partner may have the better job, or a higher pay, but that should not affect you negatively. Do not use your partner’s accomplishments as a benchmark for your own self. On the contrary, you could celebrate your partner’s new job, promotion or academic success, and rest peacefully at night all at the same time!
8. You are loyal to yourself
Several times we believe that settling to be someone we are not is acceptable in order to please another human being. This is a great mistake if there ever has been one. To cease to be yourself for the sake of your partner may bring you two joy but it would be short-lived. And in the long run, it would only lead to resentment towards your partner, and possible self loathing. When faced with such a situation, it would be advisable to do some soul-searching, and embrace ourselves for who we are in order to be that person. Be loyal to yourself. You can’t make someone else happy, when you aren’t feeling that way yourself.
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