As it always has been, you need to love yourself first to learn to love someone else. It helps you draw the line between needing and wanting to have a significant other. When you can distinguish between the two, only then you’d fathom your worth and act accordingly, consequently compelling the next person to realize what they have when you’re in a relationship with them.
Why must women make all the sacrifices? Even if this has worked out well for some of you in the past, were you truly at peace with yourself? Most probably not. Some of you still might be in a conflict with yourself to choose your dignity or your partner.
No one should have to be in such a position. Stop tormenting yourself and start putting yourself first. Here are a few things you should stick by in order to attain inner peace when it comes to relationships;
Once a cheater, always a cheater
If you’ve been in such a situation, even while filled with anger and disappointment towards them; there must have been a little voice telling you that everyone deserves a second chance. You need to silence this voice immediately!!! If they can do it once, they might do it again as well. You’d always have doubts, and without trust a relationship just cannot exist.
Even in instances where feelings aren’t that strong or it’s simply not working out, cheating is never an option. The decent thing to do is to break up if you’re looking for a way out.
They should encourage you in all your endeavors
Even if you two have contrasting goals, you cannot excuse them for not supporting you. If they don’t believe in you and play their part in helping you to get where you want, who else would! Regardless of how ridiculous your ideas may seem to them, if it’s something you want to do, they should be on board with it.
You don’t need another person trying to dull your spark
You might already have an unnecessarily huge number of people trying to bring you down; if your partner isn’t any different than them, then maybe they need to go. A relationship should be about bringing out the best in each other, and most definitely shouldn’t have any room for negativity.
They should value you and the relationship
It takes two to make any relationship work. And their efforts are reflection enough of how much they value and the relationship that you two share. Despite how you feel about them, if you feel like they’re doing nothing for the sake of the relationship and it’s always you who has to fix things, then you should take the message. You shouldn’t have to go out of your way for someone who probably doesn’t even want to be with you.
Getting along with your family and friends is of key importance
These are the people who were there before your partner came along; and if things don’t work out they’re the ones who’d still be there for you. Surely you can’t expect them to share your affection for your friends and family; but the least they could do is to make an effort to get along with the people in your life. If your partner doesn’t realise how much these people mean to you; moreover how important it is for you to see them on good terms with each other; it’s time to set things right.
They aren’t worth your dignity
You shouldn’t allow anyone to belittle you; especially the person you’re in a relationship with. If they can’t respect you, they’d never treat you as an equal. And you should know that you deserve better than that. They’re probably taking it out on you because they themselves feel a lack of certain something in themselves. You’re not responsible for how they feel and you shouldn’t have to bear the consequences thereof.
Exploitation of any sort is intolerable at all costs
Physical, verbal or even emotional abuse should be unacceptable. None of it is healthy in any way. Get away from an abusive person as soon as you can! If you choose to stay with them hoping that somehow things would change and if you’re patient enough, they’d become better versions of themselves; you’re simply fooling yourself. You’re only allowing them to further damage you.
If you’re questioning everything you do because of them, they need to know
You need to make difficult choices every now and then. Sometimes you need to do things differently than you would do them normally. At times you might have doubts, but if they make you doubt yourself in all your decisions, you need to tell them to stop. You’re capable of making your own decisions and also equipped to deal with the outcome of your choices. If they don’t know the difference between constructive and destructive criticism; they need to learn it. If they fail to do so; they’re going to make your life very difficult.
Don’t put up with their mortification
You’re not perfect; but neither are they. They aren’t some superior being who can shame you for being yourself. Respect yourself enough to walk away from constant humiliation. If you’re overlooking it because they keep this kind of behaviour only to you; you’re mistaken. They would have no problem humiliating you publicly either. You do not have to stay together with such a person.
Addictions need to be dealt with
As a partner, you should help them get rid of their addiction. But if you don’t see any progress, don’t stay with them for a moment longer. Know a lost cause when you see one. You can only help someone if they want to help themselves.
Return the love!
We’ve all had those ‘they don’t feel the same way’ relationships. So if something better comes along; don’t be afraid of getting carried away. Trust your feelings and love them intensely!
Again, no matter what, you come first. If something seems off in your relationship; trying fixing it first. If that doesn’t work and your partner isn’t doing anything about it either; you should move on.
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