Breakups are bad, there is no kind of break up that’s okay. It is even worse when you get out of a bad relationship. You are confused because you don’t know whom exactly to be mad at, yourself or your Ex. I didn’t really know what to do myself when I got out of a 3 year long relationship, filled with bad memories.
I would sit all day and regret the time I had wasted. The guilt of letting someone treat me badly was killing me. It’s then I realised I wasted the past 3 years on that person and I am still wasting time hanging on to these memories. I NEEDED TO MOVE ON!
Here are a few things that are sure to help you out if you are going through what I did.
1. TRY SOMETHING THRILLING
Yes! You heard it! Do something that normal people are scared of doing or something that you don’t normally do. Something that thrills you to the core. May it be bungee jumping, paragliding or even planning a trip to some exotic country. Just do something that’s exhilarating. For a change, do something exciting for yourself, thrill yourself, surprise yourself. This will surely liberate you of the baggage you are carrying from your relationship. Just keep yourself busy in making yourself smile for sometime.
2. JOIN A CLASS
Now that you are out of that relationship and want to be by yourself for some time. Do a fun course: A dance class, cooking class or anything. It will keep you busy till your heart heals and its good to meet new people, people who know nothing of your past or what you’ve been though. It’s a break from your normal life. When you’ve been in a long relationship all your things are interlinked with your Ex and whenever you do something or go somewhere it reminds you of them. Surrounding yourself with new places and new people will give you a lot of peace and closure.
3. GET IN TOUCH WITH THE PEOPLE YOU HAD STOPPED TALKING TO.
A bad relationship takes a lot of your energy. It is utterly tiring and when you are dealing with it you are left with absolutely no time to socialise, to help others or to be there for them. Slowly, a lot of your relations fade away. This is another guilt you will have, but who says things can’t be fixed. I once read somewhere ‘ there is always a U-turn. ‘ Go ahead, open up to them, tell them the truth though. Don’t be scared, they will understand!
4. LET GO OF THE GUILT
As hard as it is, you need to let go. You need to forgive yourself first to be able to forget about the horrible relation you’ve been in. You did what you did out of love. You cared a little too much. You loved a little too hard. So what if your Ex didn’t know how to appreciate it. Someday, someone will. So shrug off that guilt that you have for lowering yourself in the relationship. The sooner you make your peace with the memories, the better.
5. BINGE WATCH A COMEDY SERIES
Binge watch and binge eat for a day or two. I would highly recommend you not to get into a love/drama or thriller series though. It’s time you laughed your heart out. If you don’t feel like watching it alone, call over some friends who can watch it with you. For me, whenever I feel low, an episode of F. R. I. E. N.D. S would do. Also a bowl of chocolate ice-cream. In short, help yourself heal. That laugh of yours that hasn’t really been there for God knows how long, bring it back!
6. DO EVERYTHING YOU COULDN’T DO
Celebrate the fact that now you don’t have to worry, all the time, about making someone happy. Focus on your happiness for a while, do what makes you happy. If it means acting stupid or making a complete fool out of yourself, do it. Nobody is watching and even if they are, don’t care! You have cared for far too long and far too much. To be able to care that much again for someone who deserves it, you need to give yourself the importance first. You’ve given up enough of your time thinking what others think of you. It’s not really bad to be just a little selfish once in a while.
7. DON’T KEEP IT BOTTLED UP, TALK IT OUT, CRY IT OUT!
There is absolutely no shame in admitting that you made a bad choice or took a wrong turn. We are all human and we all make certain decisions in life that we think are going to turn out to be perfect but end up as a nightmare. One thing I know about people who are going through a bad relationship is that they stop sharing things they are going through. I did that, I stopped telling my best friends how my relationship was going because I was scared everyone will tell me how stupid I was to still be hanging on to him.
People often don’t get how handicapped a person gets when they let themselves go in a relationship or maybe that is what we apprehend. Now, when it’s all over you’ve got to let it out. Even if it means crying out loud, do that, when you’re alone. Once you’re done with that, talk it out with a friend, someone who will listen.
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