It’s good to imagine someone who will fall for us and for whom we will fall head over heels. It is exciting to further imagine that you both will be completely happy without having an argument ever in your relationship. It becomes impossibly fascinating that we will eventually marry them and live happily ever after.
Relationships don’t happen like that. We aren’t coming out of a best-selling novel where people act like pros at having a relationship. Getting in a relationship is like learning how to ride a bicycle, you fall many times before you finally learn how to drive it smoothly.
Some are naturally capable to understand and learn quickly, some take their own time to learn. One more thing is common in the two, probably the most important. In the efforts to learn the person who gets bruised and hurt the most is us. We fall and get up, we bump into something and try again, and we lose balance but try and get back up.
Same is the case with relationships, we go through our own fair share of failed attempts to finally learn a few lessons. These lessons are the most important lessons and they teach us to hold a dignified yet a loving and giving position in our relationships.
Here are the few harsh lessons that taught me how to be what I am today. For those who are still figuring out, maybe this will help you.
1. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF
You can never expect someone to be true to you if you can’t be true to yourself. Lying to your own self is automatically lying to your partner. We often do things that we don’t feel like doing but still go ahead because you feel like you can’t put forward your point of view. We often lie to our partners about small habits or our past just so we are liked more by our partner.
Here, we don’t realise that we are being dishonest, pretending to be like someone will only get us as far as we can uphold that delusion. Once we run out of patience, we will start showing our true selves, no one can really pretend all their lives.
Also, every person is made differently. Likes and dislikes will differ from person to person and that is completely normal so let your partner see the true you and give them a genuine shot at loving you truly.
Remember, if you won’t cherish the true elements of your personality and life, no one else will either.
2. DON’T TAKE PEOPLE AND LET YOURSELF BE TAKEN, FOR GRANTED
This, as I have said many times before, is a slow poison. Taking someone for granted shows how less you value their efforts and compromises. It is extremely important that you always appreciate your partner for their efforts so they also feel happy for doing something for you.
Also, when you notice every effort your partner does for you, you also try and do more for your partner. This way a healthy give and take relationship forms.
3. RESPECT THEM AND BE RESPECTED
No matter how close you and your partner are, draw a line. Mark the limits of your relationship for each other. Make it a point that you two follow it. If you want to be respected, you will and should respect your partner as well.
Love is not just about saying sweet stuff to each other, there is a lot more to it. In fact, true love is actually respect. If you can’t respect your partner, you can’t love them.
Simple rules can make a huge difference in your life, like making a relationship last and at times, ensuring a true, long, joyful and peaceful togetherness forever. Enough of falls and bruises from those unguided bike rides, it’s about time you prepare for a smooth journey, finally.
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