With several notable instances reported worldwide, our society has become much more aware about the need to make sure no one is in an abusive relationship. However, a vast majority of people still don’t realize that not all abuse is physical.
Abuse should never be tolerated no matter what but people are still relatively new to the idea of ’emotional abuse’ and sadly, they disregard it as nothing. Quite often, even the victim or the abuser might not be consciously aware of the situation either.
What follows are signs which might be able to help you realize whether your relationship is abusive or not. If you arrive to the conclusion that yes, it is damaging your mental health then please don’t spare another second with your partner because you might get out of it but an emotional abuser can never be ‘fixed’.
1. You’re constantly the punch line to every one of their mean ‘jokes’.
There’s a fine line between a joke and plain out humiliation. If you find yourself wondering what’s so funny about your problems or your flaws which your partner constantly laughs at, then I assure you that it is nowhere near funny and you need to consider this as the first sign. Whenever you express that you would prefer it if your significant other would stop, and they just throw you down saying that you’re too petty or overly sensitive, you’re not, trust me.
2. Constant Guilt.
If, for instance, you feel bad whenever you visit your family or hang out with your friends because you should rather be with your partner or if you constantly just feel bad for anything that happens even if it isn’t your fault at all, then consider this to be another sign of emotional abuse. By guilt trapping you at every occasion, your partner is exerting dominance over you and making sure that you feel entitled to them than to anyone else.
3. They refuse to communicate.
Admittedly, everyone has their own space or needs some from time to time. There are also certain topics that some people don’t want to talk about. All of this is understandable; however, if your partner refuses to talk about problems within the relationship or something which affects you deeply, when you need someone to help you out, then it isn’t understandable.
A relationship can only proceed if both of the partners communicate with each other. If you feel like your partner is punishing you for no reason with the silent treatment and refuses to utter a word until and unless you apologize for something which wasn’t even your fault to begin with, then get out of it now.
4. Always checking up on you.
If your partner doesn’t communicate while both of you are together but suddenly wants to know about every step you take when you’re gone for a couple of days then do not think of it as ‘sweet’ it is a serious red flag.
A few texts are alright and perfectly natural but blowing up your phone if you’re not near them is alarming at best. This means that your partner doesn’t trust you and expects you to inform them of everyone in your life. The need for trust in a relationship cannot be stressed on enough and if you don’t have that, you don’t have a relationship.
5. Blaming you for their behavior.
In some cases, it might be your fault for affecting their mood, however, a partner in denial who thinks that anything bad that happens, is somehow always your fault is a sign of a toxic relationship which can harm you mentally.
6. Unnecessary jealousy.
Everyone thinks that a little jealousy in a relationship is a sign that they care. That being said there has to be a reason behind their jealousy and not just explode over petty issues which you know don’t mean anything.
If you know that your partner is over reacting and feels as if they think of you as someone who needs to stay by their side 24/7, then that isn’t normal and you need to get out of that relationship while you can differentiate between the two.
7. Controlling your spendings.
Now look, there’s always someone in a relationship who tends to be a bit more concerned about financial situations than their counterparts but that doesn’t mean that someone has to ask the other whether or not they should be spending some, if any, money at all. You are not a child and it isn’t their money solely it’s what you both have.
If you do take a stand for yourself and your partner resorts to threats rather than apologies, then beware. These threats can be a forerunner to unfaithfulness because they know that you won’t leave if they make those threats.
At the end of the day you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself this: Would you want to be with that person after all that? Who’s to say they’ll ever let you go? Who’s to say that if you stay today, they’ll change? If you have identified all these signs in your relationship then you need to know that it’s more like being held captive and you need to get out of it right now.
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