‘Till death do us apart’, or well you know, divorce papers. 55% of all marriages end up in divorce, what does that tell you? More couples get divorced rather than getting their happily ever afters. Many factors can come into play which lead two people to end their marriage. The most obvious reason is that people make hasty decisions and they think it’s all good.
All is not good. All is far from good. Basing marriage on physical attraction alone is a huge mistake and people realise that mistake only after they’re marriage leads to divorce. Although, I agree that if two people don’t feel like they should be together then they shouldn’t be made to be together but the fact is that two out of every three couples don’t even have to go through with divorce if they follow these rules (cheating, lying etc. are all pretty obvious non-compromisable factors leading to divorce. This article focuses on other reasons):
1. Don’t know each other that well.
Obviously two people do know each other to some extent which led them to the decision of getting married. However, they don’t know each other well enough to get married just yet. See, the difference between dating and marriage is primarily the fact that you can’t just end it without any consequences. Obviously, there will be some consequences when you break up with a partner but not as major as divorcing a partner.
Take your time; take as long as you have to. There is no age limit when it comes to marriage. You can get married really young or really old depending on when you feel like you’re ready to take the relationship to the next level. Don’t rush into marriage just because of that ‘instant’ connection.
Like I said before, marrying someone just because the shoe fits is probably the worst reason to get married. So there was an instant connection, you two have a lot in common; you enjoy their company but is it enough to get married? To answer that billion dollar question, you need time.
2. You don’t want answers.
It doesn’t make you creepy to want to know about your partner’s past. Do not judge them solely from their past but keep that in mind when you two are about to tie the knot. Find out answers to questions you didn’t even know you needed to. You’re marrying this person for crying out loud! You have every right to know everything about them.
Everyone has baggage and it might be painful for your partner to tell you about every single detail and you don’t need to know every single detail but you do need to know about things which affect the both of you and will affect you even more if the two of you were to get married
3. Overlooking many things.
People often find themselves wondering what ‘changed’ in the relationship because one day you knew them as this amazing person and now they make your life a living hell. Nothing changed to be honest, unless it’s circumstantial which you can probably tell, no one really changes. Everyone is the same person from the first date till divorce. You just overlooked most of the red flags.
These red flags include; lying about petty matters, laughing or joking about sensitive topics and making fun of your flaws. People tend to overlook these mostly because they don’t think that they’re worth making a big deal out of.
4. Wanting different things.
When the subject of marriage is brought up, you need to focus so much on what comes out of your partner’s mouth. Differences in wedding plans are normal but I’m talking about differences in what you two want after marriage.
Would you two have kids? Where are you two going to live? It’s marriage! It’s a pretty big deal if you ask me. People need to look at every little thing there is, never think that you can convince them later because even if you manage to make them say yes, odds are that at every slight problem there will be (and is bound to be), they’ll be bitter towards you thinking that it’s all your fault.
This leads me to the final point.
5. Don’t try to change your partner.
Don’t ever, and I mean EVER, try to change your partner. Look, you want a perfect spouse, I get that, but you can’t transform someone into that. You need to look for someone who’s everything you want in a soulmate. You don’t get to change a human being with the face of your ideal soulmate to the personality of your ideal soulmate or vice versa.
I’m pretty sure that no one would want their relationship to end but they disregard so many things that ultimately, they’re left with no other option.
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