Relationships are different for different people. Everyone tells you what to do but no one seems to be bothered enough to tell you what not to do. I had a friend who just couldn’t find happiness, I felt so sorry for her. Initially, I suspected that she was dating the wrong guys, I was wrong.
All the men she had been with, except a few, were prefect gentlemen. These men were very loving, kind and caring. Basically, everything a woman could ask for. I slowly started to understand the reason behind her sorrow. How can someone else bring you joy if you fail to make yourself happy? I know many of you will be able to relate to my friend. Every person hits a point in their life where they fail to find inner satisfaction. You need to work on yourself before you get in a relationship.
If you are not happy with your own self, you are not going to be happy with anyone else. You need to put yourself out there and explore your true identity. This might be really difficult at first, but you need to try. It’s harrowing to think that self hatred made my friend ruin perfectly great relationships. Harsh as it may sound, stop self pitying and start loving.
Here are a number of reasons you could be unhappy in your relationship.
1. Everyone is unique
The universe was created beautiful! Every human being is unique in their own way, even twins have individual personalities. You have to understand that people will not behave the way you want them to behave, they are not robots! You need to accept the fact that everyone is different. It’s wrong to have biased opinion about people just because they are different. Learn to accept your partner and the people around you.
While doing this, you need to accept the problems you have as well; acceptance is the first step. After you take the first step towards a journey of discovery, change and fulfilment begins.
2. Be optimistic
Things go wrong in life and it’s fine. Doesn’t mean they are going to stay that way forever. Loosen up a bit, okay? Things could turn out a lot more different than you think. Concentrate on the positive aspects of your relationship instead of the negative ones. Be happy for all the things your partner does right instead of going on about how they screwed that one important thing up.
Ask yourself; was it more important than your love for your partner? Are you ready to put your relationship at stake for it? I have seen men and women ruin their relationships over the stupidest of things.
People make mistakes and sometimes you just need to forgive them and move on. Stop holding things in your heart, somethings can be damaging enough to end your relationship and that’s fine. If you decide to end your relationship, you need to let go as well. You cannot let your insecurities destroy someone else’s life.
Don’t get committed until you completely let go of the issues you faced in your previous relationship. Seek therapy if you have to. Enjoy the moments of love and joy you have. You live only once and time is never going to reverse itself. Do you want to live an old age of regret?
4. It’s okay if everything didn’t happen the way you planned
Rules are meant to be broken, right? So what if things don’t go they way you wanted them to? You don’t have control over life. You will eventually figure things out. Look at how strong and independent you are, don’t let a little mismanagement get into the way of your happiness. Laugh it off and smile.
5. Try to find happiness
Before you find happiness with a partner, did you try finding it within yourself? Take an honest advice from me:
If people disappoint you and fail to make you happy, you need to get away from them instead of hurting them too. Start writing a journal and take a long vacation, spend some time alone and find happiness within your being.
The day you will be able to do that, no one in this world would be able to take away your smile.
6. Stop being jealous
Try to be happy for people around you. Everyone has their own vices and virtues. Don’t envy people because they have something you don’t. In high school, I had a friend who was pretty popular, everyone in school was envious of her. Little did they know that she had an extremely abusive father and she had lost her mother in a car accident. I knew everything about her because we were very close, but no one could ever imagine what that poor girl went through every day.
7. Be happy for people around you
Everyone who loves you wants to see you settle in and be happy. If you keep bitching about life and everyone else, there will come a time when people will stop taking you seriously. Value the relations you have, they are precious.
8. Stop comparing
Fairy tales are to blame for this but stop comparing your boyfriend with your friends’ boyfriends. Love isn’t a race; it’s a mutual feeling of happiness, trust and understanding. Maybe your partner is already doing the best he can. Don’t hurt them by forcing them to become someone they are not.
If you still seem to be unsatisfied with your relationships, get yourself checked because you might be going through a phase of depression. Depression should be dealt with very seriously as it may take over and completely consume your life. Seek medical treatment and therapy immediately if you are diagnosed with depression!
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