When you are in love, everything seems perfect at the start. But, as time passes, doubts start appearing. These doubts can either make or break a relationship depending on how you handle the tough times. Being in love with someone and sharing a major part of your life is already hard as it seems. So when you start having second thoughts about almost everything, this becomes even more difficult and you start to look for ways to quit. Do not forget that long term relationships are not based on second thoughts.
Here is a list of a few things that you should not do to make your relationship harder than it already is:
1.Never compare your relationship with others:
Comparing what you have with your partner with some other couple who apparently has it better is a crime. Every relationship has flaws and loopholes. You think others are having a better time than you but in reality, they might be facing the same kind of insecurity when they see you and your partner together.
You see their “love” on social media and think why you don’t have such closeness and adventurous life, but what you have might be much stronger inside.
2. True love is not supposed to be easy:
When we are talking about true love, well, it is the hardest thing in the world. Honestly. Love comes in all forms and faces but the one which gives you the hardest time is actually the true one. Instead of running away from this fact and looking for easier ways and shortcuts, just work your relationship through hard times and that will actually help you to connect better with your partner.
3. Truth sometimes hurts, a lot:
Being truthful in a relationship is good. Being too truthful can be damaging. Sometimes, somethings are not meant to be told and when you do tell, you end up in a big mess. Things like having thoughts about another man or woman you admire or saw someone on the street a few hours ago should better stay unshared.
It is the intention that matters and if your intention is pure and you are lying to save your loved one from a little heart ache and distress, then there is no major harm in it.
4. Do not let your ego define you:
Accepting your mistake and apologizing is very important. A successful relationship does not have ego. Making mistakes is normal for any human being but correcting them, the right way, is what makes you different from others. 90% of relationships fail when there is lack of empathy for the partner. These things actually bring the two people closer and there is a deeper bond of trust and mutual understanding.
5. Don’t let fights become problems:
Instead, learn from the fights. Having a fight is the best chance to learn more about your partner. When you know someone so close, you have the power to hurt them because you know their weak points. At that time, instead of being a jerk, listen to them closely and understand what you relationship is lacking. Fights make you realize where you are wrong and what more is required for the relationship to work the way it should. Instead of being negative, stay positive and try to find where you were wrong so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes again.
6. Keep the past in the past:
Are you the kind of person who cannot move on and keep the past in the past? Everyone has some kind of history and if you cannot deal with it and bring it up in every discussion, then you better stay in that pit alone. Dragging your partner into the chambers of the past will only increase anxiety which can stain your relationship.
Letting go is significant to keep a relationship healthy and happy. Feel blessed to have so many chances of being happy in this life, instead of dwelling on the past and not moving on. It is also very important to let go of your partner’s past too. No matter how ugly it is, if you love them truly and have accepted them then forgetting is necessary.
7. Do not fixate on the future:
What’s supposed to happen will eventually happen. Thinking and worrying about the future will only make you forget that you have to enjoy your present with your partner. There is a difference between planning and setting goals and doing nothing and just worrying all the time. Planning is good. You plan to save up money to buy a new apartment or for your wedding. But worrying about what might happen if you could not save up enough money is wrong. Start working instead, and show your partner that you care enough to think of a future together with them.
8. Do not believe in false beliefs:
Some people are superstitious; others just interpret every doubt as a wrong omen. All kinds of relationships have their high and low points and if yours is going through a tough time, it doesn’t mean that it’s going to stay that way forever. Times change and circumstances change with it. Just hold on to the good moments and have faith in your relationship. Doubts can ruin the mental state of a human being and they do not take too long to get converted into paranoid thoughts. So try to stay away from creepy thoughts and stay positive.
9. Monotony is not everything:
Do not be afraid of change. In fact, try to adapt to new situations and surroundings. This will not only make you a better person but also bring some new colors to your life. Relationships demand change. At every stage, you are required to accept it and adapt yourself accordingly. From just dating to actually moving in together, from proposing to getting married, from having your first child to sending them off to college, every stage seems terrifying. Yet, it is as beautiful as anything. No matter how big a step is, if your partner is cooperative and supportive, change can actually be pleasant.
10. Do not expect too much:
Your partner is a human being, just like you. Do not expect more than what you can give. Relationships are fun in the start and falling in love seems like the most beautiful thing in the world. But as the time passes and you get closer to your partner, you start expecting. Expectations are not bad as long as they’re limited. Your significant other is after all just a normal person who loves you a lot. So, do not expect them to fix everything in your life once you start dating.
Relationships can get very hard if not managed properly. You never know when small things start building up and create one big rift. It is much better to sort out stuff that you think is wrong instead of waiting for it to crash it all on your head. Remember that love is unconditional and nothing is more beautiful in this world to find a partner who sticks up with you through thick and thin and makes your life whole.
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