Regardless of to what extent you have been together with someone, you can never really learn everything about that ‘someone’ you love. When you are in a serious relationship with someone for quite some time, no matter if it’s a long distance one, if you are happy and settled in that relationship, it once in a while feels as though you and your partner have talked about everything there is and know everything there is to know about each. I mean, all the long-term couples would agree with the fact that they have gone through a time where they literally feel like they have “nothing to talk about”.
The couple has talked about their interests, hobbies, what they like and don’t like, they have definitely talked about their childhood, about their dreams, about how they want their future to be and the list goes on. But there still is a lot to know about each other, some really important stuff that a couple should go through.
Now if you ever come across this “nothing to talk about” point in your relationship, it does not really mean that you have run out of things to talk about, it’s just that you are not seeing an ocean of questions in front of you left to ask each other that will actually make your understanding of each other even better.
So rather than watching a football match or a TV program tonight, decide to improve your bond with your loved one through simple conversation. The following questions will help!
1. Do you really feel respected and adored?
Now, obviously you adore your partner, right? And he or she most likely knows it as well. But there is a very big difference between having the capacity to explain the emotions and to feel them with a power so strong that you can’t even clarify in words. By asking your girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband if they really feel loved around you, you are basically welcoming them to tell you about the things you do and say that make them feel protected, give them a sense of peace and desire. And similarly, you are asking that they help you improve as a partner, as what you should and should not do.
The next thing is respect. The couple can be frank about everything and even mess around with each other but there is a fine line of respect that should never be crossed. Your partner may even ignore a thing you said that offended them, but they can get hurt and you definitely don’t want that to happen if you are trying to strengthen your relationship for the long term. So, go on and ask them if they are getting the right amount of respect they deserve from you or not.
One important thing to remember here is that you have got to listen to every word they have to say and you should not take their censure personally or permit it to influence you negatively. Anyone can be a great partner but the thing is that we need to accept the fact that we are not flawless in every way.
2. What’s on your “future goals” list?
Yeah, it can somewhat be a morbid question but let’s face it, nobody is immortal and the capacity to talk openly about this and guarantee that you two are in an agreement as far as your life goals go, will just unite you. A relationship and behaviour expert named, April Masini, once said that the couples can be as one for quite a long time and still not know everything about each other. April Masini gives relationship counsel on her Ask April exhortation segment.
Now, on the off chance that you don’t ask this question, you will simply never know, and any item on that list not accomplished on the grounds that it wasn’t clear or known, is a remorse you should not have. Yes, you can just say no to a certain item from that list but trust me, it’s really better to recognize what your partner truly needs to do in this lifetime. And also, it gives you a chance to share your “goals” list with them too.
3. How would you like to say ‘Goodbye’ to this World?
Once more, it is really important to move beyond the thought that death is awful or a negative or even that one can avoid it. It’s a characteristic period of life and a casual conversation about it will help you both know how you wish to be dealt with and took care of when the time comes. (The comprehension here is that you are moving in the direction of turning into a couple that stays together forever).
This all appears to be macabre, however in the event that you are in a long haul relationship, and you have never had this conversation or had the chance to, in light of the fact that you’ve never had a guardian or cherished one pass away, it will be a beneficial discussion to have. This is a pretty important question and if not asked, you will never know whether somebody needs extraordinary measures taken to keep them alive, needs no extreme measures or needs to stay away from a doctor’s facility no matter what.
Just asking this opens up what appears like a horrible discussion, however is an extremely adoring and personal approach to become more acquainted with each other and feel nearer.
4. What makes you feel most uncomfortable in life?
Now this is a pretty straightforward and a simple question to ask your spouse or partner. You might even know some of the stuff that makes them feel uncomfortable or freak out like things not going well at home, or seeing your kids sick and etc.
Yet, there could be some things that you don’t know like a distressing event from their past that you aren’t mindful of. By talking about this, sharing your past experiences and by gaining an insight into your everyday life events that cause you both stress will help you know why does this happen. For instance, your partner is constantly irritable just before he or she takes off the way to work.
So you need to ask them as to what annoys them the most and how you can help.
5. How can I help you become a great parent?
It is quite common if you feel a bit insecure about your parenting capabilities. It is something we can blame on having a huge amount of obligations, insufficient time to share with family and well, being human. Sadly, we sometimes fall into the trap of censuring our partners for not doing what is needed without considering that it is so frightful to have your life partner chasten you for poor child rearing abilities.
Make your partner believe that you have their back (he or she should also be there for you) by asking what you can do to offer assistance. Maybe it is as simple as just giving 15 to 20 minutes to just calm down and relax when he or she returns home from work before he or she hops in and plays with the children (which can, thus, give YOU 15 to 20 minutes to relax in return).
6. What do you want to do for your Birthday this time?
Alright now, don’t worry, you can ask some “not so heavy” questions as well. Some of you might say that this question, “what do you want to do for you birthday”, appears to be so dull but according to April Masini, a relationship expert, it’s a standout amongst the most examined issues on my relationship exhortation gathering. The wrong present for a birthday, or any other special event like anniversary or Christmas, creates a mountain of discussion you don’t want to have.
For instance, let’s suppose you got something good natured, like a lovely watch can turn into the start of a battle. There is a big chance of you getting questions like, ‘we can’t manage the cost of this, what makes you think you can purchase something this costly without discussion’, and so forth. A lot of times couples will go through years of terrible presents and sick sentiments since they never have a conversation about what they need, and how it influences the other individual. She might continue purchasing him wool sweaters, when all he’d truly want is a road trip or camping. He might continue purchasing roses for her birthdays, when she’d much rather have the capacity to skip Christmas at his mom’s home only one year.
Pose the question, get the discussion going and enhance your relationship.
7. If you could change something about me, what would it be?
Again, it is a simple question that you can ask your partner. The good thing about this question is that it allows the two to be compassionate with one another. Yes, the couple loves each other and loves everything about each other but there always is something, like something you say or do that annoys the other. It can be a certain habit like throwing wet towels on the bed or the dirty socks and etc. Now these things may seem little but a person can get annoyed and have a reaction that leads to an argument you don’t want to have.
So to avoid that, sit and talk about the things you want to change in your partner. I’m sure there won’t be much but working on these little things can definitely strengthen your relationship.
8. What do I do when I get angry or disagree?
This one question is a bit different from the other ones as each partner will have to ask this question from themselves and then answer out loud. The other partner only has to listen.
According to a psychologist named, Fran Walfish; the main deciding element for a sound and enduring relationship is handling the conflicts efficiently. This all incorporates listening without intrusion, being willing to examine the problems, accepting the difference in opinions and planning the solutions together.
This was a list of a couple of intimate questions that you should ask your partner, now obviously there can be other important questions as well, but this was to give you an idea about how you can improve and strengthen your relationship just by sitting with your loved one and talking.
Sharing time and talking is really important, it may not seem that significant and you might reach that “nothing to talk about” point but remember, there always is something you can ask and share with your partner and, believe me; it will turn out to be really worthwhile for the both of you.
So, are you going to ask your partner these questions? Let us know!
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