10 things you need to understand to finally be in a GOOD RELATIONSHIP
We’ve all had serious relationships in our lives, but a few lucky ones amongst us have actually had a good relationship. Sometimes, when you’ve been with someone long enough, you tend to become less attached to the person and more to the amount of time you’ve spent together. What you don’t realize is that just because you’ve spent so many years with a certain person, doesn’t necessarily mean that this person right here is the only true love you can ever have.
With time, we don’t necessarily start to love our partners more, we just tend to get comfortable, we tend to adjust and we tend to forget what love actually is supposed to feel like. Of course, you can’t just find a perfect partner; you have to put in a good amount of time and effort in order to make it perfect. But when you finally do, you feel that unmatched happiness and comfort that only comes with a good relationship. You feel like your heart can’t even contain the love it feels and you start to develop a whole new perspective on life.
Here are 10 things to work on for your relationship to be amazing:
Misunderstandings can’t be avoided
You say things that your partner doesn’t get and they say things that you don’t. What you both need to understand is that communication isn’t a one way street where you just convey your own message and then avoid listening to the other person’s point. You’re two different people, you say and feel things differently, which is why you can sometimes have two completely different takes on the same situation or problem.
When this happens, there’s no point in getting annoyed or jumping to the conclusion that your partner just doesn’t understand you. Misunderstandings are a part of every relationship. Learn to understand and move past them.
Trust is absolutely essential
If you don’t trust your partner, if you can’t go a minute without demanding to check their cellphone, and if you’re never sure of whether they’re telling you the truth or not, then there’s no point in putting yourself, and them, through this torture. Trust is the foundation of every relationship, the one thing that keeps you together in the toughest of times and if you don’t even have that, then it’s just a matter of time before you break up.
Give yourself the time to miss each other
Excess of everything is bad. Sometimes, it just feels like us human beings are programmed to desire the things we rarely get and to get sick of the things that stick with us. It’s the start of your relationship. Emotions are running high and your passion for each other is even higher. You’ll feel like spending each and every waking minute together.
This is fine till the first few weeks of your relationship but then, you just need to stop! Stop before it gets boring, stop before you get irritated and stop before you throw away the chance to ever long for each other again.
You need to constantly grow and change along the way
Life doesn’t keep moving at a constant pace. There are a lot of things happening simultaneously with your relationship. Your job shifts, you make new friends and leave behind some of the old ones and for some reason or the other, you might even have to move to a whole different place. All these new experiences and feelings keep molding you into a much different person than before.
Your partner needs to accept and support this, you both need to walk in the same direction or at least with the same goal and you both need to help each other grow and evolve.
Compromise does not equate to being weak
Relationships aren’t meant to be a battle of egos, they’re not meant to be a constant competition of who is on top and of who has the most power. Now, I’m not saying that you should just hide any anger or hurt that you feel or you should accept things that you find unfair. No, definitely don’t be like that!
Speak your heart out, tell them about the things you find wrong and when you’re angry, let them know about it loud and clear. But remember to hear them out too, accept when you’ve made a mistake and say sorry for any wrong you do.
A little compromise is all it takes to stay happy without stepping on your partner’s toes.
There’s no shame in admitting your weaknesses
You remember the times that made you realize exactly how much you love your partner? It wasn’t just that time when they looked so unbelievably gorgeous or the time you spent the whole day partying with them or even that time they told you about the amazing accomplishments they’ve had in life.
It happened truly when they opened up their heart and soul to you, when they revealed their deepest darkest fears and mistakes and when they finally dared to expose their most real and raw side to you. Our flaws make us beautiful and unique.
They make you the person you are, the person who deserves every bit of love and respect they get.
At times, you just need to accept things instead of fixing them
Every couple has fights. They say things they don’t mean and do things that they didn’t even know they were capable of. It’s true that some mistakes are harder to forget than others. But what’s done is done, you can’t go back and change the past, and you can’t fix things that aren’t meant to be fixed. Learn to let go of a few things, accept them as they were or just simply forget they ever happened.
Forgive because you want to and not out of mere obligation
I once heard something that stuck to my head – people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. If your partner ever makes you feel worthless, if they hurt you in ways you never imagined, if they make an absolutely terrible mistake, then it’s not easy to forgive.
Forgiving someone takes a lot of courage and commitment but once you’ve decided to forgive, and finally decided to stick with this person, do it from the heart, do it because you’re truly over it and ready to forgive them, not just because you feel obliged to.
Expectations lead to disappointments
Your partner is not a mind reader nor is he an angel sent from above especially for you. Don’t expect them to understand everything on their own, don’t expect them to make you feel extra special all the time, and don’t expect them to devote every single second of their life to you. Instead, just focus on what you yourself can give to the relationship and what you can do for them and you’ll see all your actions being reciprocated.
Show your true feelings
You’ve never felt this way before. You can’t seem to contain the excitement and love you feel and your heart keeps beating faster and faster with every step your partner takes towards you. If so, then stop pretending to be cool and indifferent.
Stop indulging in mind games and let your partner know how you really feel! Tell them how amazing they are, how they make your world go round and how you can’t imagine a life without them anymore.
Trust me, these are the things that will bring you closer.
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