Life is never a constant bed of roses for anyone. It gets tough, it gets frustrating, and it makes you want to give up and just run away somewhere. But we’re all trying our best, aren’t we? We’re trying to be better than we were yesterday. We’re trying to reach a state of genuine happiness.
And we’re trying hopelessly to make our lives worth living. And while we’re trying so hard to reach our true potential and be genuinely happy, the worst possible thing that can come our way is the presence of toxic people in our lives. These people are the ones that bring out our most negative side, the ones who make life even more difficult than it already is and the ones who have the potential to negatively affect every aspect of our life – the way we think, the way we feel and the way we act.
These people might come in the form of a friend who can never stop complaining, a boss who is always angry and rude or even a life partner who brings you down all the time with all their pessimistic talk.
Here are 9 signs that help you understand who that toxic person in your life is.
You can’t stop talking about them
You’re well aware of how annoying or depressing their presence is to you and you can’t stop complaining about it to anyone who listens. All the negative things they say or do get stuck in your mind for a long time and you spend hours discussing and analyzing them. The fact that you can’t get their negativity out of your mind even when they’re not around reflects how much power you’ve handed to them.
Your temper is uncontrollable when they’re around
Toxic people tend to be excellent manipulators. Some of the things they’ll say or do will be downright shocking and will stir up some extremely strong emotions. They make you feel so frustrated and confused that you lose control of your own emotions. It won’t matter to you if you’re at a friend’s party or even at your office, you won’t be able to control your rage when they’re around.
They make your self-esteem fall
Toxic people don’t really care about how they make you feel with their words and actions. They tend to be rude, offensive and extremely degrading at times. And you’re well aware that the things they say shouldn’t have any meaning to you, you shouldn’t take them seriously but there are still times when you let these things get to you. You can’t help but wonder if what they think about you is actually the general opinion of the world. And slowly, you start to lose your self-esteem.
You start blaming them for your own actions
You remember all the crazy things they forced you to do and those temper tantrums they made you throw? That’s not on them, it’s on you! If you’ve stopped taking responsibility for your own actions, if you feel good in shifting the blame of your wrongdoings on this one person in your life, then you’ve given them even more power in your life. You’re essentially admitting the fact that they control your actions and emotions, without any consent from you.
You despise spending time with them
If you end up feeling deranged and annoyed just thinking about the time you have to spend with this person, if you feel like you’d rather stay alone your entire life than have the possibility of seeing them again, then accept what your mind and heart is telling you. You don’t need this person in your life.
You drag yourself down to their level
If you have come to the conclusion that the only way to tackle this person is to treat them in the exact same horrible way that you hate them for, then you’ve reached an all-time low in your life. The fact that you’re willing to let go of your own morals and values just to get back at this one person reflects what a bad influence they are on your life.
You haven’t been able to set certain boundaries with them
This person doesn’t have any limits when it comes to invading your privacy, or bringing up issues from your past or using the kind of tone and language that you’ve never experienced before. You get caught off-guard every time they have something to say to you and after the number of times this has happened, you know there’s no point in trying to set any boundaries anymore.
You fall back on unhealthy coping mechanisms
All your efforts of trying to change them have gone in vain. Even getting angry or calling them out on their actions hasn’t reaped any advantages. So you resort to other things to calm you down. You have a drink once in a while or eat some comfort food every time they get on your nerves. This will only cause you more problems in the long run and they will be indirectly affecting your life even further.
Your relationships with other people suffer because of them
This person has the ability to get to your head completely. You feel so frustrated and angry every time you have an encounter with them that you tend to take this anger out on the people who are actually there for you, the people who actually matter and the people who can actually make you feel better.
You scream at your sister when she asks what’s wrong or you get annoyed with your friends just because you’re in a bad mood. If you let this go on for a while, it won’t be long before your relationships with the good people in your life will start suffering just because of one toxic individual.
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