4 common mistakes that hurt your relationship

All of us want to find that one person, the person who can fill the gap in our lonely heart, the person who can bring back the excitement and love in our life, and the person who would be only ours. But when we finally find that one person and when all of our heart’s desires get fulfilled, we get careless.

We don’t commit fully to making that relationship work. We don’t put in all our efforts to making that one person stay. And we resort to the following 5 mistakes that can badly hurt our relationship. Read ahead and reflect on whether you’ve been a little careless with your relationship as well:

You simply tune out your partner once you’ve had your say

Some people misinterpret communication in a relationship as just talking: talking about their own problems, talking about their own life, and talking about their own feelings! Communication is always a two-way street. You need to listen as much as you talk. You need to invest your time and attention towards finding out how your partner feels, what they’re thinking, and how their life is going.

If you don’t listen intently to your partner when they talk, if you don’t maintain eye contact and show them you’re interested in whatever they have to say, and if you don’t react appropriately to the stories they’re so excited about, then how long do you expect them to keep talking and sharing with a person like that?

You pass your judgments on them
There are probably very few people in the world who we can relate with completely, whose opinions and views are exactly the same as ours, and whose every action and every word is something we agree with. So what do we do about the rest of them? Are they obligated to abide by all of the things we find right and reject everything we find wrong?

Do we have the right to judge and criticize them whenever they disagree with us? I’m pretty sure most of you would reply to these questions with a ‘no’, so learn to accept your partner with all their diversities and differing opinions, trust them to distinguish correctly between what’s right and what’s wrong for them, and listen to them when they’re trying to make you understand their side. Don’t pass judgments.

Don’t criticize them. And don’t make them feel disrespected.

You always assume things

If they haven’t called in a while, you assume they’ve lost all interest in you. If there’s something they said that you didn’t quite understand, you assume it was something negative. If you’ve found a new person posting on their Facebook timeline (someone you don’t recognize), you assume they’re probably cheating on you with this new person. If there’s something bothering you since a while, you assume they wouldn’t care and you don’t even let them know.

And when you’re buried in all these assumptions, you forget to find out the actual truth. You convince yourself of negative things that you made up in your own head and you start resenting your partner for them. You don’t give your partner a chance to explain their actual position to you. And you only end up making your own life miserable for no actual reason. 

When things get hard, you shut your partner out
We all want to experience those amazing moments in a relationship, the moments that give us butterflies in our stomach, the moments that make our heart pound harder than we ever thought was possible, and the moments that make us feel like the happiest and luckiest person in the world. But not all of us are prepared to embrace the good AND the bad. You stay loving and affectionate as long as things are easy, as long as they’re convenient, and as long as the relationship doesn’t give you any kind of stress.

And as soon as things start to become a little difficult, as soon as a few simple problems arise, and as soon as the relationship stops feeling like a dream, you start to back out. You avoid confrontation. You ignore your partner whenever they complain or tell you about the things that bother them. And you make them feel like they’ve been completely shut out.

If you want to make it work, if you want the dream to continue, and if you want all those amazing moments to stay, then you NEED to embrace all your problems. You need to work together to resolve them. And if you feel like a fight is getting too heated or too hard for you to handle, just give it a break.

Give yourself time to cool down but make sure you get back to your partner to solve the issue.

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