Marriage is nothing if not compromise. You’re literally going to share the rest of your life with another person and no matter how well you two got along while you two were dating, you would have to bring some changes into your life after you get married. Your spouse is a jerk if he or she asks you to make drastic changes into your life, however, they aren’t being mean when they tell you to stop texting that one person.
I’ll be honest with you; it isn’t easy to adjust to how someone else would have you live. You might even find them to be somewhat controlling in the start, however, there’s a fine line between being controlling and being a person who just wants the joint life you two have, to run smoothly.
So without further ado, here are some things you can’t do after marriage:
1- Not giving them a reason:
Some people feel like they aren’t accountable to anyone but themselves and, you know what? They’re right. However, they’re right only up until the day they’re single because once you’re married, you can’t just assume that your spouse would be fine with everything. You can’t stay out late at night just because you had to go to some party and not tell your spouse about it. You literally have someone at home waiting for you who don’t have a clue where you went. For all they know, you got hit by a truck.
To be honest, you aren’t exactly supposed to just text them telling them you’ll be late and think that that’s the end of it. Give them a reason, an honest reason on why you can’t make it home on time and then wait for their response before jumping in the car to hit the club. If you two made plans then you can’t miss out on them even if it’s the world’s most boring plan, you made a promise to your spouse which should hold greater value as compared to an abrupt plan.
2- Putting yourself first:
Let me clarify, this doesn’t exactly mean that you have to put them first. It means that you have to put what’s best for BOTH of you first. You can’t think that this is the same as when you two were going out. If you didn’t think that your mom would like your partner, you could make up an excuse for them to not meet.
But, if you’re close to your mother, then you can’t keep her from meeting your spouse forever. Maybe they’ll be the best of friends or the worst of enemies, bottom line is that you can’t put your concerns above it. Similarly, you need to change your priorities and think of whatever will benefit the two of you.
You can’t be the same happy-go-lucky person that you were before marriage. You can’t think that it’s alright to pay the electricity bill a few days late because you wanted the money to buy yourself something. You would undoubtedly have to change.
There are some things that you know are better and some things your spouse knows are better. If they’re being irrational then you have every right to tell them not to be, but if you’re being irrational then they have every right to tell you not to be. Every relationship is bound to have its ups and downs, it’s on you two whether you purposely let the relationship go down or whether you guys try your absolute best so that it never reaches that point.
3- Brushing concerns off:
If someone told you to change your life style or to not do something you enjoyed doing any more, you’ll be pretty mad. You’ll think that it isn’t their place to tell you what to do or what not to do. You’re an adult who can make his or her own decisions, right? Wrong. We’re all people and people have flaws. If someone is trying to control you then you’ll be able to tell, however, if someone is trying to do something for your betterment then you can’t brush off their concerns. Especially, if that person is your spouse.
The one thing you’re bound to get annoyed about is when your spouse tells you to stop hanging out with someone you’ve known for a long time. It’s annoying when anyone does that but you owe it to them to at least hear why they want you to stay away from that person. Whether it’s because of something they saw or just a vibe they get, you owe them this much to actually take their concerns into consideration. Acting like you’re the boss of your own life would’ve been fine, had you not taken a vow to share that life with someone.
4- Letting yourself go:
Let me clarify this too, by ‘letting yourself go’ I don’t mean that you have to constantly maintain your sex appeal whenever you’re with your spouse. You’re with them 24/7! You can’t look flawless all day, every day. Your spouse will see you at your very best and at your very worst and they would have to love you regardless.
If the situation isn’t in your control then you aren’t supposed to feel bad about it. Looking your very best every single day isn’t a compulsion; it’s something people do just because they want to. You look good because it makes you feel good, but what if your spouse wants to take you out on a date, won’t you at least try to put in more effort on that one occasion.
All in all, living the married life is not an easy life to live. You would have to make some changes here and there, but at the end of the day you’ll be with someone you loved enough to agree to make those changes for.
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