Don’t let it happen in a single moment of weakness where you’re feeling lonely and just need someone familiar to be there and comfort you. Don’t let it happen when you’re drowning away your sorrows and your pain in a bottle, and you type a text message that will make you hate yourself the very next morning.
Don’t let it happen because you’ve started believing you can never do better and that they’re still near enough for you to reach out, but far enough that they just might be able to get away.
Don’t go back to them because you’re heartbroken, or sad, or lonely. Because the person who broke you in the first place isn’t the one who’s going to fix all the broken pieces and put your heart back together.
You go back, and you start to think that things will be different this time around. You think they’ve finally changed. You think things are not the way they were before. You think you’ve both grown as individuals by now. But the truth is nothing has changed at all. And it probably never will.
There is still a very good chance of you getting hurt again. Because no matter what you make yourself believe, it is possible to get your heart-broken more than once by the very same person.
You might believe they’re different now. You might believe it when they promise you they’ve changed. And in the beginning, they might even be able to cover up who they truly are. They might fool you into believing things will turn out different this time around. But the truth is people don’t really change.
In the beginning, you’ll see that they’re really trying so you’ll start to think you made the right choice. They care more about you, and even about the relationship in general. But in no time, things will turn from complete blissfulness and relief to an instant reminder of why you left in the first place, of why things never worked out the first time around, or even in the second.
Because when you go back to them, they’ll start to think that no matter what they end up doing, you will always forgive them. And they’ll keep doing it without any regard to how their actions affect you or make you feel. They can give you all the apologies in the world, but they don’t really mean them. Especially not when they continue to do the same things over and over again.
You are not a weak human being for being in love with them. You are not weak for believing that they might somehow change. Because you genuinely want the best in life for the people you love. You want to believe that things will turn out better for them, that the person you love won’t fail in all of their promises and all of their ambitions.
But you just can’t let yourself go down with them. You can’t be with a person who keeps on dragging you down, who keeps breaking your heart just to fulfill their own selfish pursuits. That is not healthy!
You feel like there’s magic in the air when they’re around. You feel like the entire world is more alive. And on the rare good days they give you, you seem to forget all your pain and worries.
But on the rest of the days, when they’re not treating you as good as you hoped, you’ll start to remember all the things they’ve already put you through. And you’ll start to question and hate yourself for coming right back to them.
In your heart, you know they’re not good for you. But you just can’t help it, can you? You feel drawn to them. And you can’t help but want them, make them your only desire, and your only true wish.
But you owe yourself at least a little more than this.
You owe yourself more than just running back to the person who keeps hurting you over and over again. Because no matter how much you hope for them to change, they won’t! And you can’t keep helping a person who doesn’t even want to help them self.
Now I know it’s hard. I know how much you miss them. But you can’t keep going back to a person who doesn’t bring out the absolute best in you.
Being with someone who broke you down once, someone who drags you down in their pool of negativity, someone who seems to care about no one but their own self, is extremely unhealthy. Because this person is going to continue hurting you, even if they’ve promised they won’t.
Know your worth. Learn to stand up for yourself.
It’s going to be really hard in the beginning. But I promise, the future will be much better! And the pain you’re feeling inside WILL heal. You will get over them. And you will learn to love again. It might take months, or even years. But eventually, everything will be okay.
Once you’re away from this one toxic person in your life, you will start to grow on your own. You will start to work towards becoming the person you were truly meant to be. Your happiness will be just yours. And the best part about it is that YOU are the one who will be creating it.
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