7 Lies people tell in relationships to justify themselves
How many of these lies have you heard?
We all have a liar inside us who always wants us to make excuses. He either makes us procrastinate or makes us dishonest towards our loved ones.
In psychology, lying is something that can give you power. It is also associated to boredom. People who have vast imaginations have a better possibility of being liars than those who are not that intellectually superior.
Sometimes, lying becomes an impulsive thing. You can’t stop yourself from lying even when you don’t really want to. Fear and sloth are factors that can transform you into a compulsive liar.
Let’s have a look at 7 excuses people make in relationships to justify their wrongdoings.
1. I couldn’t make it in time
You might have noticed some people who always cancel plans at the last moment. I had this friend Brian who had a knack of making all the arrangements and then vanishing at the last moment. I literally wanted to kill him.
It mostly happens because some people are either over thinkers or have fluctuation of moods. They process things too much. They aren’t even aware that they are lying. Sometimes people are just lazy or introverts but sometimes, it so happens that the underlying factor behind such kind of lies is selfishness. A person who prioritizes his rest and alone time over the promises he has made is bound to lie almost all the time in such circumstances.
2.It just slipped out of my mind
You might have met a lot of people who make this excuse. You can remind them ten times about the plans you have with them but they still will make this excuse. It makes the muscles on your forehead cringe.
The reason behind this is that they either are ignoring you or do not enjoy your company. They have lost interest in you and the will not even bother to return your text at times. You should just cut them off if they do it one too many times.
3.Hear me out; I’m actually a good person
People who lie always have these righteous justifications. They will try to come up with alibis for their shortcomings. Instead of accepting their mistakes, they will always come up with these deceiving explanations like I’m a good person, but I’ve just not been myself lately. They will make mistakes every time and forget that you matter to them and never accept that they were at fault.
4. I did it to protect you and not hurt you
You had a relationship with someone for more than six months and they have expressed their love for you. They have made promises that they will be there for you for eternity and yet after a certain period, they fall out of love and they cheat on you or lie to you and they don’t have the guts to tell you the truth. The truth of the matter is you don’t matter enough anymore to deserve the truth.
5. I didn’t know it was the wrong thing to do
If you make it clear to a person that they should tell you the truth about their feelings even if it might hurt you and they still lie, then they are con artists. They have the perfect justification. Whenever they will hurt you, they will act innocent and make it seem as if it wasn’t their fault.
Consider you are in a relationship and your partner hurts you. Instead of apologizing and accepting his mistake, he justifies it by I didn’t know it was the wrong thing to do. This is also associated with an ego problem. You partner doesn’t love you enough to discard his ego and accept his mistake.
Sure, sometimes, he might not know that it was not the wrong thing to do but most of the times it’s not the case and you’ll know.
6. He will try to twist his words
Sometimes a lair will tell you a lie by twisting his words and it will seem as if he is telling the truth but actually he’s really cunning. There’s always parts of the story he is hiding to make it seem an ordinary matter. “ OH! You’re just exaggerating!” You are likely to fall into their trap if you don’t read between the lines and verify their story.
7. You are being Judgmental
A liar will ask you to not make judgments about him. He will say that if you were in my place, you would’ve done the same. He would try to instil guilt in you by putting you in his place. Sure, we’re not all angels and we all do mistakes but that does not justify our wrongdoings. If he has done something wrong, it doesn’t exonerate him from anything and he has to face the consequences of his actions. You should never let anyone justify their wrongdoings.
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