It is most altruistic behavior to care for people in times of need and cater to them in every way possible when life shoves them down. If not in severe conditions then helping people in small situations, too, counts as altruism, because you would be taking time out of your life to gain nothing but only to make a difference for them.
But when your altruistic nature is taken advantage of and your kind heart taken for granted, it’s vital you do something about it.
How to know you are being abused? Here are 5 signs that can help you see if people use you, treat you like a doormat.
You Just Can’t Deny People:
Whenever you are asked for a favor by a friend or a family member or anyone you know, you feel bound to say yes. Be it mowing the lawn, taking care of the babies for a while, cooking a little something or even buying things for them, you feel like you just cannot deny their requests.
It may not be because of your habit of helping but because of people constantly asking favors of you without ever listening to your reasons as to why you can’t. Maybe you never tell them your reasons.
Doing everything for everyone is not healthy behavior. You are only heard when you voice out your concerns, so learn to say no when you actually cannot afford to handle the given task.
It is okay to help people once in awhile, more than okay indeed, but it should not be at the cost of your peace of mind.
People Take You For Granted:
You said yes to a favor once because you saw how badly they needed it. You made time in your schedule to do it for them, just as an act of kindness. You are being used as a doormat if people keep coming back to you every single day with the same favor, naturally assigning you with it as a task.
You may not realize it, you may think that they are busy again and really need your help, but if you look closer, they are just taking advantage of your kind gesture. You quietly become the go-to person for them whenever they need something, be it as small as getting snacks from the store.
You need to set boundaries to the favors you would say yes to.
Otherwise, people with no sense of responsibility and concern for other would keep coming to you for things that are none of your business.
They Contact You Only When They Need You:
This is literally the strongest and the most common sign of a person being used as a doormat. More and more people complain of their friends and people they used to be close to calling only in the time of need.
People only contact you when they want to ask you of a favor or something they are stuck has a solution that you possess. The world has become a mean place and it is difficult to find people who are there with you in thick and thin.
It is our job to detect and throw out people who are mean and selfish. If they only contact you when they need you and never otherwise, they are clearly using you for their own good. There is no use catering to the demands of such people.
You Are Almost Never Appreciated:
When you do something out of love and care for someone, you are expected to be thanked for it. Favors are returned and if not, expressions of gratefulness are exchanged. If you experience none of this and are only asked for more favors every time, it is a sign they are using you, taking advantage of your helpful nature.
People can be very heartless at times, disconnecting themselves from the well-being of others. It is your duty to either allow them to connect or disconnect altogether. Asking for favors without returning them with, at least, gratefulness should not be allowed in your life.
It not only makes you look like a fool but also is a waste of your time and company. So do not welcome people who do not know how to welcome you.
You Don’t Feel Good:
After all the helping and dedicating of your time, when you are not paid back with respect or thankfulness, you obviously feel bad. You like to help people out with things and be there for them when they need something, but you find nobody to be there for you when you need something, you feel bad about it.
That is the greatest sign. When your friend’s heart was broken, you gave them a shoulder to cry on and you consoled them, and when it was your bad day, they were nowhere to be found. That only means one thing: They took you for granted and are now using you only when they need to.
Friendships or any other sort of relationships do not work lopsidedly. It is too necessary a thing to do to see who cares for you and who is only there when times are good. Being used like a doormat can be a sign of low self-esteem too, so do not let yourself be used like that.
Stand up for yourself and learn to say no because the burden of everyone’s problems cannot rest on your shoulders.
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