Avoid these things at all costs!
All of us have a different vision when it comes to ideal relationships. While some of us look for a support system in a relationship some others want the Hollywood romance out of it. But whatever it is that we deem ideal there are some factors that count important in every relationship no matter what its circumstances are.
It is very important for a relationship to be healthy and transparent. Both the Hollywood romance and rational love are destined to tumble down the drain if certain things are done wrong. Relationships like claps require contribution from both the hands. There are a lot of factors that ensure a healthy association in any relationship. And vice versa there are a lot of factors that ensure the elimination of healthy from it.
So what is it exactly that ensures and nurtures a healthy relationship? To answer this very important question we have shortlisted certain ‘don’t dos’ that are to be avoided like plague if you wish to enjoy a healthy, long-lasting relationship.
The Following are 10 things to never do in a healthy relationship:
Compare and Contrast:
The biggest crime you can subject your partner to is his comparison with a colleague, friend, acquaintance, family member or even worse your ex! Doing so will not only make them feel insignificant and demeaned but will also make them feel as if they are not enough for you. In this world someone somewhere sometime will always have it better than you but that certainly does not mean that whatever is keeping them happy will do the same for you. Someone else’s sugar might be your poison.
The act of comparison will not only make your partner feel inadequate but will also take away your peace of mind and contentment in regard to your relationship. It may also be perceived on your partner’s part as a sign of your attraction to someone else. This will surely damage your relationship in irreparable ways and hence should be a big no
Looking more at your phone more than at your partner’s face:
Quality time spent together is the key most aspect of a healthy relationship. Having each other’s company is very important in an attempt to build trust for a long-lasting relationship. Your conversations with your partner should not only be verbal but you should also connect on a mental and spiritual level and to do so it is very important that you commit all your senses to them while in their company. Constant distractions such as cellphones can be a major turnoff for your partner. Fidgeting with your phone while you’re in the middle of a conversation with them will irritate them and make them feel unimportant. Now you don’t want your partner to think you love your phone more than them right? That will be cruel.
So, unless it is an extremely urgent mail or call, prefer cherishing each other’s company over social media and unnecessary texts. Always remember that your phone can wait but your love life can’t.
Reading but not responding to messages:
There was a time when lovers would write lengthy letters and wait months at a time for a reply. But now in this age of social media we don’t have the luxury of secrecy. Not only does the tick on Whatsapp reveals the successful delivery of a message but also turns blue to make sure that the other person knows that you have read it.
A late reply in such a case will directly correspond to the arousal of doubt and suspicion on your partner’s part as they may feel that you are ignoring them. So, it is only wise to reply to your partner’s messages as soon as you get them. In case of being busy inform them but do not leave them hurt with the feeling of being ignored. Do not give them any opportunity to feel like they don’t belong to your list of priorities. Do not hide your ‘received receipt’ and ‘last seen’.
Keep it as transparent as possible because a single unanswered ‘seen’ might end your ‘scene’!
Looking out for eye candy:
Your eyes made you feel connected with your partner right? Well the same eyes can halt your connection forever if they are not kept in check. While checking other people out in the presence of your partner might raise suspicions about your interest, checking others out in their absence will definitely raise suspicions about your loyalty.
The worst scenario is you getting caught ogling another guy/girl in public as it will surely cause trust issues and discomfort between the both of you. It will also cause your partner to feel insecure and will damage your relationship. It will only be natural for them to think that if you are acting out this way in their presence then what in God’s name have you been doing in their absence. You definitely don’t want that do you? So, it has been established that eye candy is a big no-no for your taste!
Browsing their phone without permission:
DO NOT I repeat DO NOT do this if you want your relationship to grow. Such behavior will definitely cause trust issues and is one of the main reasons of present day breakup. Always keep in mind that you never own anybody no matter how close you are to them. They might be your partner but that does not entitle you to invade their personal space and probe into their stuff. Learning to respect your partner’s privacy is of utmost importance.
If you have any issue with your partner, have a face to face talk and confront them. But do not go behind their back. In such a scenario you lose either way. If they are loyal, you lose their trust and also the guilt of betrayal is likely to haunt you in the future and if they are cheating on, then of course you have lost their faith.
Being a Control Freak:
Trying to control your partner is not fair. Relationships are supposed to be based on equality and should not tilt more towards one partner more than the other. Remember that your partner is a grown up independent individual who has complete autonomy to take the decisions of his/her life.
You may suggest or advice but you can never exert or force them into anything. It is only childish and immature to assume that you have the right to dominate them. They have parents to tell them what to do and they do not seek the same from you. They need you to be there as a support and not as a dominator.
Telling them to talk, walk, dress or think a certain way is not your place. If you do this or plan on doing this then you are definitely pushing your partner to run into someone else’s arms.
Bringing up their past:
There is always a reason why someone’s past is their past and not the present. Usually it is hard for people to recreate the past without feeling the agony or pain that comes with it. If it’s a healthy past then sure it’s never bad to have a little trip down the happy old times but if it’s something that might make them feel uncomfortable then you should know better. Do not act insensitive and bring up frequent questions regarding your partners past only because you are too curious to know more. If it had been something easy for them to share then they would have done it by now.
Give them time and try to approach the subject with an indirect care rather than an abrupt and direct approach. Bringing up past relationships is also a very easy way to damage your relationship. What’s gone is gone and digging up dead bodies won’t do you any good. If you want to move forward, then you will have to let go of the pasts of both you and your partner. Do not dig up negative feelings and bring up fights and issues you’ve had in the past. Push them into the resolved folder of your brain and let them rest for good!
Jealousy is destined to eat away your relationship and render it hollow. Jealousy besides being a horrible feeling is slow poisoning that will definitely leave you nowhere. Possessiveness to an extent is cute but like too much of anything possessiveness is also suffocating when overdone. Your partner is not your property and respecting their individuality is your duty. You shouldn’t want your partner to feel trapped. Liberate them from the vitriol of jealousy and develop mutual trust so strong that you don’t need to doubt. Jealousy in any relationship is a red flag for the future. Do not let your insecurities eat away your love life.
Exposing your personal issues:
It is your partner’s right to know about your stance in the relationship. It will be unfair to them if you talk about your issues with someone else before your partner. Two way communications are very important. The more your communication with your partner is transparent the better it is.
It’s okay to talk about an issue with a friend and seek advice, but make sure that you are not leaving your partner out of the conversation. Make sure that you have talked to your partner about the issue and have taken in his input before you address it to an outsider. Complaining about your partner to your friends won’t help unless you’ve had a one on one conversation about that issue with your partner. Confront the problem and try talking it out like a nice understanding couple before presenting it to an audience who can never be as concerned about the issue as your significant other.
Taken for granted:
Taken for granted is the worst tag you can place on anything or anyone. It is clearly a disrespect of the sentiment of love. Your partner should not be your punch bag or throw cushion and should not be disrespected in any way. Make sure that you do not lose them only because you thought you never could.
What you have now will not be there if you do not nurture and pamper it well. They love you but they don’t depend on you to exist and hence they may leave anytime they feel like they have had enough. Do not push them to the point of no return. Cherish their presence and tell them often that you are grateful for their support. A permanent cold shoulder can never do what a warm hug can so choose wisely. It will always be a pity to look back and regret the time that you had taken them for granted and knowing that that is exactly why they left.
Every relationship is wired differently but certain morals, values and ethics are mutual to all of them. Relationships are initially fragile and need to be taken care of in order to strengthen them. So it is very important to be careful of how you act and respond in a relationship. You require thinking not only on your part but also on your partners and hence you need to tread very carefully and not transcend any of the transparent lines that bind relationships together.
The doing of any of the above will bring you face to face with dire consequences. Keep these points in mind all the while striving for a healthy and prosperous relationship. There is no doubt that loving and getting loved back has no parallel in this world and so make sure that you don’t end up doing something that will cost you more than you are ready to give up.
Spend your love and earn back in doubles all the while respecting the existence of your partner because love and respect cannot exist independently.
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