Sometimes, you get manipulated in a relationship and you’re not even aware of it. Some people spend their whole lives with people who have mastered the art of emotional blackmail. They’re selfish and you’re just ‘too nice’ or ‘too attached ‘to let go of them.
They are very astute and you will always find them many steps ahead of you and even if you catch up to them they’ll use emotional blackmail to pour the blame on you.
You can be a paragon of virtue but you’ll be used as a tool if you don’t get rid of these toxic people as soon as possible.
Here are some signs that show that you are being emotionally manipulated in a relationship.
The art of twisting words
Consider you have a fight with your partner and you have caught them red-handed. Instead of accepting their mistake, they’ll make you feel bad about holding them culpable. You’ve done nothing wrong and still you end up apologizing to them. The usage of words like “You’re judgmental, you hurt me’ followed by a cascade of tears is quite common. They’re politicians minus the Donald trump haircut. I really wish you don’t have a partner with that racist’s hair. I’m just taking a leap of faith here.
It’s mostly because you love them too much and they don’t care enough to reciprocate your love. They’ll seclude themselves from you sometimes and make you feel alone and unwanted and then you’ll think that maybe it was your mistake or maybe the mistake is always yours.
Constant Mood swings
Sometimes you might’ve noticed that some people love spending time with you and talking to you and days later they won’t even bother to reply to your text. Emotional manipulators always think of what they have to gain from the relationship.
They want to feed their loneliness and they don’t try to care as much as you do. They’ll care when they want to and when it suits them. When they feel bored and have no one around to entertain them, they’ll come running back to you.
They will always talk about their problem and Ignore yours
The world is garbage to them. They’ll always make you feel as if they’ve been through the worst things in their life and you’ll believe them. They are very persuasive people. You’ll listen to them and try to fix them but one day you will lack the strength to be strong enough for the both of you and you will need someone to talk to.
They’ll make it seem that you’re over-reacting and instead of listening to you, they’ll make you feel bad about being sad. They’ll make you feel like a fragile little creature that can’t face even the slightest of difficulty with courage.
Their first Impression will draw you towards them
Emotional manipulators will always have a good first impression. They will make it seem as if they’re some saint. Sometimes, emotional manipulators will act as if they’re full of malice. They will act as if that they can’t be fixed because they know that people want to fix and help such kind of people.
Good people always believe that there is good in people and sure there might be but a person who uses a masquerade to tempt you into becoming their friends, how can you trust such a person?
Use of Negative body language and aggressive behavior
They will seem very calm at first but they can be very intimidating. If you’re someone who is fazed by violence, they’ll take advantage of this weakness. They’ll be very aggressive and sometimes abusive to get what they want.
When they’ve gotten what they want, they’ll apologize to you and tell you in a gentle tone that ‘They had to absolutely do this’ or ‘Their anger got the better of them’. They are very messed up people and they can turn you into a mess as well.
Criticism and taking aim at your insecurities and labelling it as humor
I’ve met many people who have said racist and deprecating things to me and told me that’ It was joke. They don’t know how it feels to be in my shoes. Some people go through a lot in their lives and some things that might not hurt other people could gravely disturb another person. Emotional manipulators have a complete disregard for your emotions.
They will use negative humour as a weapon to attack your fragile insecurities and make you feel bad about yourself. The worst thing about this is that words like ‘faggot’ have become so common and widely accepted in our society that we think that they can never harm anyone’s feelings. We have become numb to these words and we don’t even think before passing such derogatory and insulting remarks.
Have you seen any of these signs in your partner? How have these signs affected your relationship? Have you sacrificed your self-respect just for the sake of love? Please share your stories and let us learn from our mistakes.
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