We all make mistakes and do things we should not have done, that is what makes us human.
But sometimes, there is no room for mistakes as they can cause serious damage. In a relationship, our actions and habits greatly affect the status of our relationship therefore it is important we keep a check on the bad and the good habits before it’s too late. There are some bad habits that people have in relationship that more often than not make them suffer in the future, here are some of them.
Take the family too hard:
Whatever you do, do not let his or her parents get into your head. As long as the love between you two is real and they are satisfied, parents’ problems regarding your relationship should be a secondary matter. Do consider their opinion but do not let it get between you and him/her. Try to learn the balance between that fam and this fam because you’ve got to take both along; letting the two play with your mind is not going to help.
Trying to make them sh*t glitter:
STOP trying to make your partner the ‘perfect’ partner because there is nothing like a perfect person.
It’s a bad habit if you are always telling them to improve themselves without ever appreciating them enough. Accept them as they are because, to remind you, that’s what you signed up for in the first place. Not only will this habit of yours annoy them but also it won’t do any good to your relationship at all.
Not knowing when to say what and when to do what can make them pull away from you. For instance, if they tell you something bad they did in a public place and you are not happy upon hearing it, save the yelling and cussing for later instead of embarrassing them and yourself in front of the whole world. If you really want to keep the relationship, do that. If not then go on calling them names on the zebra crossing, nobody cares.
Nobody minds a cute couple kissing on the corner of the street, but people sure do get uncomfortable if it goes way further than just kissing. Put aside what people think. If HE or SHE does not like public display of affection and likes to keep it in the bedroom (or any other closed territory) but you insist on smooching in the face of the librarian or bartender, then you are messing with the relationship. Calm down, take a break and try to control it!
Keeping quiet when you shouldn’t:
There are problems in all of us, with all of us and for all of us and, my friend, not talking about it has never helped a soul on the face of the earth. So when you have a problem that you think needs to be discussed with them but you decide to stay quiet and let them guess, abort mission because guess what? They are human and humans cannot read minds.
So speak up, talk it out, sit on a couch and put it all out on the table. It helps.
It’s not a perfect world and it is practically impossible to see eye to eye on everything with your partner. So whenever there is a difference of opinion, welcome it and respect it instead of trying to sweep it under the carpet and never talk about it. Arguments take place and so do fights and it is proven by real-life experiments that they are healthy as long as they are welcomed. Do not try to make it flawless because like perfect, flawless does not exist either.
Imagine being told at work that they reduced your pay, getting a bad stomach by the sandwich from office canteen, accidentally killing a cat on your way back home only to come home and being asked to think of having a baby. Like, Jesus! Give me a break.
Wait for a good time to talk about enormous things instead of hastening and fastening. The human brain needs time and space to process all that information. If you want them to have a mental breakdown then bingo! Way to go!
Forgiving but not forgetting:
I have seen couples who have, for most of their lives, been frowning. The history behind the frowning includes certain clashes that took place and although they were forgiven by each other are not yet forgotten.
Do not suffocate your relationship by never forgetting once you have forgiven.
Either do not forgive at all and quit it, or do both because only forgiving and never forgetting does no good. Moreover, I do not think those frowning couples have any sex life left to enjoy.
Being the mom:
Sometimes, it’s cute to tell them to put the toilet seat down when they are done and throw the garbage out when they are done but literally being the mom and telling them to straight it out 24/7 can be a deal breaker. If you are sick of their nasty habit(s), confront them calmly and if it only once in a while that they forget to do something you told them to, cut them some slack. Take a deep breath, imagine their pretty face, smile and take the garbage out yourself.
Being the calculator:
“But your gift only cost $15.”
Do not be the annoying one and keep track of all the money he/she spends on you. Gifts are given with love and not money so if you want to keep a track of something, observe how excited they are for you to open the gift. That’s what counts. Also, in any way, do not let money come in between you two.
Money is like that third person who is always up for destroying the relationship provided you let it do so.
Being not-cute jealous:
It’s fine, even cute, to be a little jealous of anyone who gets to do something with your loved one more often than you do but letting that jealousy take over you is bad. Let them have a life of their own and just tell them that you trust them enough to never doubt them and if it is meant to be, they will never forget what you said. Try to keep a positive mind, remind yourself of all the times they have expressed their love to you to help put the doubts away.
Nope. Do not touch their phone (unless, of course, you commonly do and they are okay with it). Otherwise, keep away from their personal belongings because, even if they are spending their life with you they still have one of their own. Spying on them will not only keep you dissatisfied but also, if you ever get caught, will hurt them. Try putting your trust in them. If you are wrong in doing so, life will prove it to you all be itself.
Did your ex wash better dishes than them or had a bomb dressing sense? Did they? Great, because it does not matter now that you are not with them.
Stop comparing. Every person is unique and even if the merit level of the current one is low, dwelling on the past won’t help you in any way. Settle if you can and if not, become an ex yourself. Do either one of the things but do not compare and stay because it can create unrealistic expectations.
Letting things loose:
As much as giving space to your partner is healthy, letting the space grow more than needed can be harmful. Do not cling to them and do not go too far either. Maintain balance. Letting things loose can make the relationship lethargic with no fun at all. Try to keep it active and alive. Workout together or go on adventures; without saying much, the bond will get stronger and without any trouble, you two will get close.
Lying when the dinner tastes bad is justified but lying about little things or things of significance is the most obvious and common habit that your relationship is prone to for destruction. Lies to cover up the first lie and then more lies to cover up those lies; lies on piles of lies. Take one out and everything falls apart like a domino castle. Honesty is difficult but easier than lying so opt for it in a relationship and you will find happiness.
Literally sticking together:
Couples literally stick with each other like someone applied wood glue on one of their sides and placed the other one on it.
Being close is good but being so close as to not give each other enough space to breathe separate air is foolishness.
Adults have different lives that need different time and capacities. Respecting that, be a little less clingy every day if you wish to save what you have.
Low self-esteem is slow poison. It directly affects you and indirectly affects the relationship because you are half of the relationship. Not only does it affect your sex-drive but also makes you doubt yourself and your partner. You find it hard to believe that you have someone who loves you this much so you naturally and unknowingly pull away from them. That’s how low self-esteem plays its game.
Staying honest with yourself is as important as staying honest with your companion. If you are not telling the truth to yourself about what you want from the relationship, how do you think you will have a content relationship? It is essential, therefore, that you know for good what you want from love and life so that you are able to keep all parties included happy.
Taking them for granted:
Besides couple who frown all the time, I have also seen couple who roll their eyes on each other all the times. Blunt and bad behavior says that you have little to no respect for your partner. Not only behavior but putting constant pressure on them of things they do not account for merely because they love you so much is unjustified.
Taking anybody, let alone your life-partner for granted is cruel and is the worst possible habit to ruin your relationship.
Forgetting to “Talk”:
The talk; we all know the talk. As much as it is scary it is necessary. To talk about where it is going and where you want it to go is important. You certainly don’t want to discover their disinterest in marriage after a year of dating when all you wanted was an avowed life with them. Keeping the talk away can bring gouts of pain in the future when it takes place naturally, and brutally.
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