We often forget how important communication is in a relationship. There are days that pass by without us talking to our partners because there is not much to say. Do not let such days stay for long. Flirt when you get a chance, say meaningful things besides only always reminding them to bring the grocery.
There should be certain things that only you and your partner know the meaning of; secret sentences, reading between the lines etc to feel exclusive. Besides all that, every once in a while, tell them the things they need to hear from you as a companion. For example, the following phrases should be repeated in a relationship to keep it alive and healthy.
“Let’s Go on a Date”:
What a lot of couples do wrong is forget that they were young once. Getting so busy in lives so as to completely forget the things which brought you and your partner close is not a nice idea. Your lives may have taken different turns but you two are still together so why not feel young again?
Do it more often. Make them feel like you have not forgotten the first date and that red dress/suit (obviously not red) and want to experience all of it again. It’s healthy and tells them that you are not willing to give up on the relationship and still pay enough attention to keep things fresh.
My 80-year-old uncle and aunt still go on dates every month and believe me I have not seen anything more beautiful.
“I am here to help”:
If your wife has a super hectic schedule where she is running to complete one task after another and you happen to have a free day or some free time, tell her you are available to help. If your man has been doing a lot lately and you happen to have some free time, make yourself available to ease it for them and do it more often. Do not completely take everything on yourself, no, just share their stress to make them feel helped.
That is what couples are all about. As a kid, I admired the concept of two people sharing lives because with someone to share everything with it would be so much easier to handle all the bad things in life. Growing up, I realize it is indeed a blessing.
“How was your day?”
Besides all the grand gestures to keep the relationship healthy, this small gesture of just asking them how their day went can help a lot. Just catch up with them daily, or almost every day, and listen to them telling you about something funny that happened in their workplace or something unusual they saw on the street.
It might not do much but before you know you are laughing with them and bridging that distance that routine can build up sometimes. So talk more.
Ask them about their day, don’t interrogate. Moreover, while you listen to their silly stories, make sure you appreciate them for some good deed or at the end of the day, take some minutes out to tell them you missed them. Small gestures like these, sometimes, do a lot more than we can imagine.
“I love being with you”:
Taking each other for granted is the most common mistakes couple make. It might sound funny and a little absurd to say after spending a lot of years together but “I like being with you” can change their mood and refresh your status with them.
Things do get boring, let’s admit, after a long time spent together. Therefore, it is essential you remind them and yourself that you still like being with them, that you love being with them which is why you are with them. Like this one phrase, you can say anything that means almost the same; that would make them feel important.
They might even laugh when you say it because of the obviousness of the statement but it will go a long way since it is effort that counts.
“I support your decisions”:
Try to put these words into actions more often. You might end up sounding a lot like Donald Trump if you say the exact same sentence every time your partner is about to do something. “I support your decisions, I totally do.”
Try to keep it real with them. For instance, if they are to start a new business, even if it is small but they think it will go big, support their idea. They took a healthy diet all week? Support their persistence with a small cupcake on the weekend. Getting a different haircut? Support them (Unless it looks like hay on a broomstick)!
In short, make them realize that they have support. All the teams play better when a little cheering up is done in their name, it’s a fact. Be his or her personal cheerleader!
“You make a difference in my life”:
Phrase it anyway you want but inform them of their role in your life. If they make you laugh too often, tell them that their tactics to lift your mood are ever so adorable; if their organized nature helps you a lot at home then tell them that their habits make a difference in your lifestyle. Whatever or however you say it, make sure it comes out as a statement of truth which you are grateful for.
As they say, staying in love is trickier than finding it. So if you feel like you are with them for reasons you never say out loud, give them voice so that he or she knows what it is about them that you like so much. It is vital and only appreciates them more to keep doing what they do.
“I like it when you do that”:
It is all about pushing each other through life considering how challenging everything is in this world. Who better to tell you that you are a good person other than your own partner?
Appreciate the little things do; their choices in matters as small as a haircut. If you like it, say it. They might even discover a new talent by your appreciation. You like their choice in merging colors for wallpapers? Great! Who knows that actually becomes a thing a year or two later?
It can be personal stuff too, something that they do only in the bedroom that you can’t get enough of or something they cook. Like we said, it is all about appreciating! Learn more adjectives! Awesome! Great! Awe-inspiring!
“I like YOU”:
It does not always have to be their habits or choices that you like, it can be them too. Don’t understand how to say you like something that they do? Just tell them how great/helpful/positive/cute they are. Obviously, don’t turn into the overly attached girlfriend/boyfriend when you are praising them. Keep it original and limited but do get it out. You are with them for a reason, something you like about them so say it more often.
While praising them might boast their self-esteem, telling them you find them attractive can spice things up too. You can disguise your wishes too while you praise and get what you want. For example, “I love it when you do this and I was wondering if you could do that too.” So it all ends on a friendly note.
“You are THE priority”:
With time, we forget to put first who we always put first. It is in human nature to not value something when they have it but only when they don’t have it. Do not be like that and remind yourself how they are and always should be your first priority. Tell them that everything that you do is associated with them and your day cannot come to an end without you seeing their face. Also tell them to remind you if you ever forget to put them on first priority.
Relationships have their ups and downs; these expressions and reminders can play a big role in keeping things steady and stable. As far as reciprocity is concerned, you reap what you sow; give as much as you can to the relationship and hope for the same.
“I can’t possibly find anyone better”:
Say it only if you mean it. I am an outgoing person and I am telling everybody I like that I like them and I have seen a positive environment grow around us when I say something like this. This world already has enough of hate so it will be an angelic thing to do to spread love.
Liking someone so much as to admitting that you cannot find anyone better has its disadvantages too but it sure is a good feeling. Saying “I can’t possible find anyone better” might help you more than it would help them. It might make them to be cocksure of themselves but you will feel good after saying it as you will be saying completely truthful. Likewise other important things you should say, this phrase here is also about pushing each other through difficult times.
Messing up in a relationship is inevitable so whenever you do, make sure you clean up too. Apologizing does not belittle your ego but only shows how much you value the relationship. Forgot to put sugar in their tea? “I’m sorry.” Ate their midnight snack too? “I’m sorry” Drove their car and spilled juice on the seat? “I’m sorry.” Even if things are not as small as these, even if the mistakes you make are huge, do not run away scared. Be brave, accept it and apologize. When I asked a seemingly perfect couple about how they maintain their peace, their answer was that they keep their hearts big enough to forgive each other on mistakes big and small making sure all the matters were dealt with quietly.
“I love you”:
Say it with meaning, don’t just blurt it out. And when you say ‘I love you too’, make sure you really do.
It is, indeed, the most important thing we need to make our partners feel more than tell. It is the combination of every other expression there is, so beautifully merged in just three words. More than anything, remind your loved one that you love them. As vague as this term may be, it seems to clarify everything.
Relationships stay alive with all of the above feelings and realizations alive in it. Appreciation, acceptance and improvement go hand in hand when it comes keeping a relationship steady. Say sorry, make mistakes, express love and tell them they matter because while your actions say what you mean, you will always need words to make them feel what they deserve to feel.
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