Take a break. Calm Down. Put your phone aside every once in a while and take a deep breath.
Cell phones are a need now, we all know that, and it has become quite difficult for us to function without them. But secretly, without you ever noticing, they might be poisoning your relationship which you would only discover after the damage is done. There are 15 ways in which your phone can be damaging your relationship. Yes, 15!
So before you put your phone aside for the next deep breath, read these 15 ways in which your phone is affecting your relationship so that you are more careful from now on.
You Spill Secrets:
Admit it, while talking to your BFF, at least once, you have told him/her things about your relationship that you should not have. We all face this urge to have our current relationship status to be shared with people we are currently in conversation with, so without thinking twice, we spill secrets about our relationship to the wrong people and sometimes the right. In doing so, we also often ignore the presence of our partner who is sitting right beside us. Cell phones play us in strange ways.
You Ignore Your BF/GF:
That is the most common way of ruining your relationship via cell phones. Sit with them, pick your phone up, start scrolling and completely ignore their presence, the job is done!
Seriously, try not to scroll when you are with them. Take the scrolling to the toilet when you are bored in there, you won’t be ignoring anybody that way.
So yes, by using your phone instead of talking to them about anything and everything, you are slowly killing the relationship without realizing it.
You Don’t Focus:
While listening to him talk about his day or anything in general, you get the idea to randomly check out your Instagram feed because you think you can multitask. In reality, although, you make him feel like he is talking to himself. By using your phone when he is trying to have a conversation with you, you make him feel bad for sharing things with you when you are not even listening. In short, you don’t focus on the little things that matter when you have your phone in hand.
It Feels Like Cheating:
Although it is really not cheating but it sure does feel like it. When you are around him and you check your phone or that text you just received, you secretly feel like you are cheating him by not completely dedicating your time to him. How would you feel if he did the same?
Would you have a little doubt growing inside you of him talking to another girl while ignoring your presence? Just like that, he might feel the same way when you decide to pick up your phone in the middle of a conversation.
It is okay to upload cute selfies sometimes or even most of the times unless it keeps you in an illusion. Relationships need to be worked on and our connections need to be made stronger before we share them with the whole world. Now, there is nothing wrong with an innocent selfie but if you are paying more attention to how your relationship looks to the outside world rather than working on it in real life, you are harming your love life.
An acquaintance on my Facebook once updated her status as ‘feeling satisfied’ because she had ‘finally had intercourse’ after 15 days. Yes, that happened. Not to imply anything about your habits but we do tend to share more than we should, at times.
Little stories and feelings are shared on Facebook all the time but if the person who is involved in the story did not want the world to see it, you are in trouble. Before you know, you have uploaded something personal that your partner would have liked to stay between you two only.
No Real Experiences:
By starting your relationship through your cell phone and completely depending on it for communicating with them, you are missing out on actual real life communication. Even before the relationship has properly started and even before you have finalized the decision of keeping them, you are tagging them in videos and pictures.
As innocent and meaningless these acts might be, they sometimes give the wrong hint to the other person. They might start expecting a lot when all you intended to do was make them smile.
Texting is All You Do:
A relationship craves actual communication; texting does not do justice to the things that need to be said to each other in order to know each other better. That is exactly why long-distance relationships are dreaded by people who have been in a real relationship for a long time.
When you text, it is all very cool but when it comes to face-to-face communication, you don’t know what to say. That is not a sign of a successful relationship. Through texting, our expectations grow in a different and less mature way than they should.
You Do Them Wrong:
By ignoring their presence and burying your face in your phone, you are also being unfair to them. If you think closely, you are depriving them of their right to have a nice meal or a nice walk with you. By continuously replying your friends on the group chat while taking a walk with him, you are not giving him the right time he needs to understand you better.
Your obsession with your cell phone harms your relationship with him in ways you have never thought of.
You HAVE To Share That:
Your hair looks extra good today or is the guy/girl sitting behind your boyfriend/girlfriend looks extra cute? You HAVE to share it with your online friends because that is how much addicted you are to your online world.
Having a mild story on Snapchat does no harm but being a crazy Snapchatter can greatly affect how your partner feels about you. Sooner or later, your habit of sharing everything will annoy them and they will react. Be ready for that day (do not upload that, please).
Letting the Distance Grow:
He came home wanting to tell you about the promotion he got but you were having back to back calls from your friends or your phone kept buzzing. Hours later when you get free, the thunder is gone and he does not feel as excited as he did three hours ago.
By prioritizing your friends on phone, you let the distance between you two grow. Similarly, if your girlfriend wants to talk about a serious matter but you can’t stop looking at your phone, you are getting distant from her every minute.
You Forget The Whole Point:
By sharing a lot about what goes on in your life, you slowly lose the essence of things. Just like sharing the fact that you started reading a book makes you want to put it away now that everyone has seen it, sharing that you now have a boyfriend might make you want work less on your relationship.
By telling everybody more than they need to know, you miss out on the whole point of dating someone.
You Kill His or Her Will:
He/she was a talker before you two started dating but now that they see you using your phone all the time, you killed their will to actually communicate. You made them jump on the bandwagon with you.
Never having a good chance to talk to you, they gave up on trying and picked up their phones as well. Without even realizing, you made him/her obsessed with their phones too, pronouncing emotional death to the relationship.
You Don’t Need Change:
You grow a habit of using your phone everywhere and every time and you do not realize that you are making so many mistakes while doing so. You don’t think you need to change. Not listening to people when they tell you to try to bring a change in yourself is a bad trait and can affect your relationship.
It generally implies that you are not open to what people have to say anymore. You do what you see on your phone i.e. everyone using it like there is nothing else to do. By being definite in your relationships, you are telling your partner that you are stubborn and not open to advice.
You Will End Up Angry:
Your constant ignorance will annoy him/her at one point and they will move away because ‘you don’t care about them’. You know you actually do care about them, so it will hurt when they will leave. All the fuss will make you angry and unable to see your mistake.
So before any of that happens, learn to differentiate your personal time and your time with the online world in order to have a good, organized life with an undisturbed relationship.
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