Love is unconditional; we all hear that a lot. But that does not mean you should change what makes you original, what makes you ‘you’.
The person who loves you will do so with all you are and all you are not. There are some major things you should not ever do even if you love him a lot. Some of them are listed below:
So you like to have an extra sweet at the end of each meal, and having some curves does not bother you. But so should be the case with the person you love. You should not have to change your figure just for him. If he wants you to, that means he sees your physical beauty alone, not the beauty in your soul.
The latter lasts longer anyway. If you want to lose weight then do it for yourself and not just to make him find you attractive.
Ignore lifelong friends
Those who ignore their friends for the sake of their partner are seriously doing it wrong. His want for you to cut the contact with your ex is still reasonable. But when he wants you to stop talking to some or all of your friends – even your childhood friends – he is way out of line. To ditch your friends for him is not going to get you anywhere. Remember that those same friends are the only ones you will have to go to when he gives you a tough time.
Crush your dreams
Be with someone who encourages you to be ambitious, not someone who kills your dreams and stops you from being independent. Love someone who would not make you choose between your career and your love life, because when the right one comes along, they will not even give you the awkward situation to make that kind of choice instead, they will support you with all their strength to be successful. They will keep you satisfied in terms of both your love life and work life.
Do something that makes you uncomfortable
Do not let him trick you into doing something which ends up putting you into a very uncomfortable position. You will know how deeply he loves you when he does not put any kind of pressure you. He will make his peace with what you invest into the relationship and be happy with what he gets.
Your comfort and ease of mind comes first to him. If he is being ignorant towards that and caring for himself only, you know very well where you stand. So just because you love him very much, do not let him walk all over you.
Lower your standards
Loving someone does not mean you ought to lose your sense of wrong and right. If you know he is not good for you then you should not lower you standards for him.
Never settle for less.
Just because he is a drug addict and you love him does not mean he is the best for you. If you stayed away from that kind of bad influence, then you did so for a reason, so why start now? To love is not to fall for the wrong kind of personality, but to have the imperfections and flaws in the right one never be an issue.
Changing your dressing sense
The guy who truly loves you will do so regardless of how you dress. If he likes you dressing up in bright colors then buying a couple of those is not such a bad thing. But filling your closet just because he wants you to is not really the way of things to go. He should have no problem with your dressing sense, given the fact that it is completely comfortable to you.
Do his chores 24/7
So you are doing his laundry, washing his dishes and cooking his meals, all the while you have your own chores to do as well. Being in a healthy relationship means that yes, from time to time, you both will end up doing some of each other’s’ chores…not all of them. Rather, you should be taking turns doing them.
Love is still not an excuse to kill even your resting time just to do his part of the housework. If he really loves you, he will acknowledge that you are just as human as he is and deserve a time out as well.
Hand him all your earnings
If you are out there working all day long while he sits at home wasting that money on booze and renting movies, that is just no good at all. When both of you earn and spend an amount that exceeds your regular budget then that is still understandable.
But if only you earn while he is the big spender, that will not really work out for the better. Using love an excuse for him to get away with this will not help either of you build a healthy relationship either.
Change your hair or wear more make-up
You are a brunette and yet he likes blondes. In time, you pick up the box and dye your hair. He might learn to like you better, but then the question is, will you? Why change yourself for him when it does not even make you feel good about yourself in the long run of things? If he really loves you, your hair is not really something that should bother him nor should you change it.
As long as the guy you love has no problem with the bags under your eyes or the wrinkles on your skin or your big laugh lines, you are as good as a queen to him. But you should not wear more make-up just because he has a perfectionist, ideal view of what beauty is. When he truly loves you, he will not love you for the color of your hair and flawless skin but rather for the way your heart looks and your love feels.
Be someone you are not
If you do not like sitting with him and watching FIFA then tell him. If you are tired of going to the same restaurant every weekend then tell him. If the same playlist he listens to all the time bothers you then tell him. If you do not like something that is actually habitual to him, you don’t have to do it, especially not in the name of love. That won’t be love, but just survival.
Survival with someone whose likes and dislikes don’t comply with yours and vice versa. The reason many people who are together these days without love and those who love each other but are not together, is because they find changing their personalities some kind of demand made in the name of love.
It is nothing like that. You should never have to be someone other than yourself and the one who loves you will love you for your sense of truthfulness and originality. It is loving in the purest sense of the word, with all you are and aren’t; all your haves and have-nots.
Making him the boss of everything
Sure, you might be head over heals in love with him, but that has not taken your right of self-expression nor freedom of speech away from you now has it? And you should not even give it up just in the name of love. That means not making him the boss in everything.
You have a voice too so use it. When he gets to decide everything, you will not be left with much else to do except obey his every command and request. And we all know that a healthy relationship can never flourish like that.
Get married and have kids
Being perhaps the biggest decision of your life, you should not have to go through with something like marriage and having kids just because he wants to, and you yourself don’t. It is a big step forward with someone else by your side; if only he wants it that badly while you don’t then it will do nothing but lead to difficulties in the future. Being part of such a one-sided thing never helps anyone.
So just because you love him does not mean you should throw all your life away for love, marriage and raising children…unless you want the same thing and feel you are ready for such a thing indeed. If he is not on the same page with you in this matter, better to clarify your future plans and sort things out instead of settling for such a major change in your life, only to have it be a problem for you later on. Love does not mean both of you ought to go and marry and raise kids together.
It is more about wanting to achieve good things in life together than having to make sacrifices to such a big extent.
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