10 Crucial facts to remind yourself when you’re stressed out about being single
Here are ten crucial facts to remind yourself when you’re stressed out about being single:
Love can never be forced
You might try finding someone on every dating app possible. You might try asking random friends to hook you up with someone good. And you might even resort to flirting with random guys/girls in a bar in the hopes that it will turn into something amazing.
Yes, it’s true that for some people, these tricks might work out and they might end up finding the love of their life. But for the majority, it’s highly probable that all you’ll get out of this are a few casual dates and nothing more. The truth is that love can never be forced. And the only time it will find you is when you will stop actively searching for it in every new person you meet.
Being in a relationship is never going to magically fix all your problems
A lot of us enter into a relationship in the hopes that it will turn out to be the one thing that we were always looking for, the one thing that will make us forget all our troubles, and the one thing that will fill our life with color and happiness.
While this can be true in many cases, what needs to be understood is that a relationship requires a lot of patience, strength and courage. It requires resilience and it requires you to place actual time and effort into making it something beautiful. Don’t expect a relationship to be the solution to all your problems, but work towards making your relationship a way of forgetting the stress and tensions of your life.
It’s always better to stay alone than to lose your mind in a shitty relationship
Have you seen that couple- the one that is always fighting, the one that is always driving each other crazy for no reason at all, and the one that is clearly unhappy but still stuck in this disgrace to a relationship? Would you rather be alone or be in a relationship like that?
I’m sure most of you would answer with the former! Sometimes, it’s better to stay alone than to stick it out with a person who doesn’t truly love you, a person who is never completely there for you, and a person who isn’t capable of making you happy. It’s better to know your worth than to settle with someone who doesn’t even deserve you.
Start working hard on the things that matter and love will eventually follow
Start paying attention at your job and make sure you get that promotion you always wanted. Take up those guitar lessons, devote proper time to them and make sure you become the talented player you always aspired to be. Look for that one thing you were always passionate about, the one thing that had always been your dream, and work towards making it a reality.
Once you truly find something you love, everything in life will automatically start to feel easier. Stop skipping out on the rest of your life just to discover some kind of love. Love will find you when you’re ready but the rest of your life won’t stop to keep waiting.
You might feel alone at times, but you’re not
There will be nights when you will just lie in bed, hugging your pillow, having no one to talk to or cuddle with, and you’ll wonder why you’re so alone, why the right person still hasn’t entered your life, and when this feeling of emptiness will end. The truth is you’re not the only person who is feeling that way. You’re not the only person who goes through lonely days and even lonelier nights. You’re not the only person who is wondering when their soulmate will come along. Stop feeling alienated.
Stop assuming that you’re the only person who is feeling this way right now. Stop going into a pool of depression and self-pity and do things that will make you feel less lonely. Call up your best friend and let her know exactly how you feel. Go to that party you’ve been invited to and turn this sad night into a night to remember. Download your favorite TV show and keep binge-watching it till the sadness goes away.
You don’t lack love in your life
Just because you’re not in a relationship doesn’t mean that you’re lacking any kind of love in your life. You have love coming in from your friends, family, co-workers, pets and anyone else who is in your life and knows what a remarkable human being you are.
You have so much love coming towards you from a number of different directions but you choose to focus on just one. Stop pitying yourself on the things that aren’t here and start appreciating the things that actually are. Call up your best friend and let him/her know how lucky you are to have them. Go on a weekend trip to meet your family and remind yourself of all the people who truly love you.
You were never alone in this world and you never will be.
The world isn’t going to collapse around you if you’re not married by 30
The one thing all of us have been forced into fearing is the thought of entering our 30’s alone and single. Our society has ingrained in us the thought that if you’re not married and settled by the time you’re 30, if you don’t have an exact life plan, and if you don’t have someone to call your own, then it might remain this way for the rest of your life. Trust me- there is no reason to be so scared! There is no reason to feel any kind of shame or embarrassment if you’re still single.
You didn’t come into this world with an expiration date on you. Love and marriage don’t come into our life with a specified time limit. And if anyone judges you for being single or makes you feel any less for it, then they don’t even deserve to be in your life in the first place.
You can never force a person to stay
In life, you might end up meeting someone who feels like they’re the answer to all your prayers, someone who makes your heart beat faster with just one look, someone who seems to be here to complete your perfect love story, and someone who you’re sure is your one true soulmate. But sadly, in some of those instances, the other person won’t be experiencing the same feelings for you.
They won’t look at you like you’re all they ever wished for. They won’t feel like you’re the one true happiness in their life. And they won’t think of spending their entire life with you. As harsh as this may seem and as sad as you might feel about it, you will need to accept this. You can’t just force someone to be in a relationship with you when they just don’t want to.
You can’t force someone to feel the exact same way that you’re feeling. You can’t force them to stay in your life when all they hope to do is leave and find someone else. Because if you do, you will only end up making things even worse than before
It’s never okay to keep making excuses for someone
Just because you’ve been single for a long time doesn’t mean you should settle for just about anyone who comes along and shows some interest in you. If they’re rude to the waiter every time you go out to dinner, stop blaming it on the bad day they had at work. If they never contact you themselves, stop telling yourself that they’re just a little busier than you.
If all they ever want to discuss with you is their own life, their own interests, and their own hobbies without paying any attention to what you have to say, stop telling yourself that they’ll eventually change with time. Life is too short to keep making excuses for spending time with people who are not good for you.
And while you’re making excuses for this person and giving them second chances, the right person might just pass you by without even getting a single chance.
You don’t need a boyfriend/girlfriend to make you feel complete
One of the sad realities of life is that the top reason why most people enter a relationship is because they feel empty, sad, or lonely and because they believe that a relationship will start making them feel differently. The truth is that no one in the world has the ability to make you feel complete except YOU!
And if you enter a relationship only with the hope of finally feeling fulfilled and complete, you might even end up feeling more incomplete and empty than you did before. Stop expecting a relationship to magically make you feel complete and start playing an active role in achieving that level of satisfaction yourself.
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