10 pieces of advice on how to make up after a fight
There is no couple on this planet that has not experienced a disagreement. Differences, natural or otherwise, often lead to arguments among the couples. Is it possible to avoid arguments? Of course not. Every individual is different from another one and everyone has to go down into an argument. So in short, every couple fights and sadly cannot control it but don’t worry about it, there are many ways that you can use to make things work out with the love of your life after a disagreement or a fight. After all, you value them and they are your most important possessions.
So, here are some really effective and cool pieces of advice that can protect you and your love from all the negativity that comes as a result of an argument.
Count till 10
Okay, trust me! this advice is actually effective. Count till 10 when you get to hear something that you despise or don’t agree with and don’t forget to take a deep breath too. While counting think of calming your nerves and think about the love you hold for your partner. This trick will help you in clinging to your senses and won’t let the anger take over your sagacity. You don’t want to hurt your love in the spur of the moment, right? This one will work for you, for sure.
Don’t try to win
That’s the biggest mistake you can ever make. It’s not about winning at the end; it shouldn’t be since in the argument with your partner or loved one is not about winning or losing. Even if you are really confident about something and you really believe in your point of view and its correctness do not try to impose it and don’t ruminate about winning.
It’s not a competition and, trust me, once you “win” the argument; it is not going to be that important later on. Winning in an argument with your partner is a major slip-up, you win the argument but you hurt your love and yourself in the process.
Try to convince your partner with love and also try to understand their point of view. You’ll notice it’s much more suitable than just winning the argument. After all, its love that has to win and not your differences.
Give your partner a hug
They say nothing works better than a tight hug. So when there is a fight or disagreement of some sort and there is no way to get rid of it with verbal aid, why not get some physical aid? And what’s better than a sweet hug? Don’t be afraid to ask for a hug and don’t be afraid to ask for one. This physical touch will remind you both that you two love each other and your love is stronger than this disagreement. This will also help you two to get into bigger fights and hurting each other’s sentiments.
It’s okay to go to bed angry
Normally everybody believes that going to bed angry is toxic for the relationship. But recently the experts have suggested that it’s okay to go to bed angry since it is kind of really hard to come into an agreement on the very same day when you have a big disagreement or a really big fight. So don’t panic or think about it as a bad sign. Give your partner and most importantly give yourself some time, get enough rest to calm down and think about the matter or disagreement with a cool mind. Don’t worry about it. Trust me it’s absolutely okay! it won’t harm your relationship. After all it’s good to give some times to things and make them better? isn’t it?
Bring some humor
Believe it or not humor is a great tool to avoid jumping into a disagreement. Humor has always been a great help to release the stress, anger, anxiety or soothing the nerves. Apply it to release the tension. Trust me it’s one of the wisest thing you can do. When the agreement is not meeting its end try to come up with a good joke, I’m sure it is going be a wonderful thing for your relationship. And apart from being humorous also try not to be sarcastic, ironic or mean to your partner. You might end up with the bigger and more damage than the expected one. Always, always go for a simple, sweet or funny gesture or a funny word that can melt your partner’s heart.
Some issues are not worth fighting for
At times, you end up in bigger fights over small issues. Do not involve your ego in your arguments and you should know it’s not important to fight over every other matter and impose your dominance or point of view. You have to figure out what issue is important and which issue should be ignored to maintain the peace of your life. Trust me, all you want is a peaceful and smooth relationship with the love of your life and it’s absolutely okay to avoid insignificant issues. Isn’t it?
Provide a dose of pleasure
You know that the environment around you and your partner has a huge impact on your relationship. So why not make it cozy and comfortable? A negative or tensed atmosphere can turn a minor disagreement into a huge fight in a couple of seconds. Let’s say if you are at a place where there is no privacy or has a lot of hustle and bustle, you will more likely to experience a drastic fight in such a crowded place. In such a situation use your brain and get your hand on something that can distract and calm your nerves, like a glass of your favorite drink?
Or a chocolate with all its sweetness can work like a magic and can help you getting a better manage the disagreement in a better way. And come on, you don’t want to get into a fight in front of everyone, do you? It’s always better to discuss the differences in private with calm environment as well as a cool temper.
Think from your partner’s perspective
Let’s face it, you always generalize things and associate them with your partner’s traits like, if he didn’t do the dishes, you’ll be like he is a mean guy and he never helps me in the kitchen. Now that’s really mean and selfish of you. It will damage your relationship in the long-term. Now do something that’s really hard and almost impossible. Put yourself in your partner’s shoe, think from his/her point of view and try to understand their perspective.
May be he didn’t do the dishes because he had a hectic and busy day at his work place and he really needs to take some rest. Obviously he can have a rough day more often, just don’t generalize it and associate it with other things. Try to understand and manage things in a polite and easy way for the sake of your relationship and its success. I’m sure that is not going to be hard because your love is stronger than your little issues.
Know you position
It always takes two opposite point or views and two different approaches and perspective to pick a fight or land into a disagreement. Frankly speaking we do get blind to our flaws and fault and hold the next person responsible of all the trouble. Here in such a situation all you have to do is to know yourself, your stance and your point of view. Don’t get blind to your faults, you can be the own who is at the wrong side.
Don’t be ashamed or egoistic to accept your mistakes. Be more precise and accept it if it’s you who is wrong in the entire episode. Also, while you are counting till 10 when you are extremely angry, during this time think about the entire situation and focus on the shortcomings and your behavior. You ought not to hurt your partner with your harsh words or gestures.
Anger management technique
Psychology has got many ways to help us in our daily life. Marital psychologists suggest anger management technique if you are the one who is short-tempered in your relationship. Whenever you feel angry at your partner, don’t get mad them, follow the advice and try anger management technique. Trust me it works like a magic. All you have to do is to change your position when you are angry. For example, you got angry while sitting, stand up.
If you are feeling that angry feeling while standing than sit down. It is also recommended to change the location, like moving out of the room into the fresh air or taking a walk to soothe the anger. Also, drink water and calm your nerves for your own good. Your anger is your biggest enemy, it hits and destroys you and your loved ones like a tornado.
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