No two relationships are the same. Sometimes, it follows its own natural progression and nourishes over time, but other times, a relationship needs careful consideration and efforts in order to nourish and grow overtime.
Whether your relationship is based on the natural progression or on the genuine hard work and focus, there are a few relationship traps that all of the couples should avoid at all costs.
Trust takes a long time to be cultivated but it takes a millisecond to be broken. Make sure that you do not break each other’s sacred trust. It is one of the founding pillars of any relationship. Without trust, sooner or later, the relationship tumbles and falls like a skyscraper that has a weak foundation.
Trust comes in different aspects. It can come in the form of loyalty and in the form of never lying to your partner. Trust is also a two-way street; you know trust those who put their trust in you. A loving partnership is just that, a partnership. Two people have to work together in order to cultivate trust and water it regularly. Without trust, there is no lasting relationship.
Moreover, Gottman’s research on the subject of trust in the relationships concluded that it also impacts the physical health. It was a longitudinal study that spanned 20 years and found out that 58% of the men in “untrusting” relationships died and only 20% of the men in “trusting” group died. All the couples out there, if you don’t believe us then believe the numbers.
Anger is a part of every relationship. However, healthy partners deal with the anger reasonably. They do not let it go through the roof. Instead, they focus on reaching a mutually beneficial solution. Staying in anger is another phenomenon that traps otherwise happy couples. Anger should be weeded out as soon as possible and a way to do that is talk about it objectively while considering both sides of the problem that caused anger in the first place.
Healthy couples talk about everything that is on their mind. There is unconditional acceptance on both sides. Even the disagreements are effectively solved or accepted. Healthy partners consider that even the “flaws” are worth accepting because those flaws make us who we are. Radical acceptance is achieved through effective communication.
Most relationships fade out because of the lack of effective communication. In most failed relationships, one or both of the partners do not know how to let their voices be heard. They are not vocal about their needs and the worst part? They do not discuss the problems. Suppressing the issues is never a good idea as the negative feelings gather up and explode sooner or later. Effective communication is also built on the friendship aspect of your partnership.
Healthy partners understand that intimacy is a part of life and it is something that both the partners need. Which is why, it is never withheld as a weapon. Even during arguments, healthy partners realize the need for both physical and emotional intimacy. Another important thing is the proximity. Most couples leave the house of sleep in a separate room when they fight. Do not fall into that trap, even in anger, do not stay away for more than a day. Stay close to one another and eventually the proximity will make you talk about things.
Healthy couples maintain a perfect balance of distance in their relationship. Distance is often thought of as a bad thing but it is quite the opposite. A little bit of distance is always healthy and hovering over one another all the time is not.
Distance makes the partner miss you and remember all the good times. They miss your deep conversations and they miss the intimacy. Which is why, it is never okay to fall in the trap of neediness and clinginess. You should give your partner some breathing room every now and then. Encourage them to go out with friends more often and to engage in some activities such as a marathon alone. This way, your partner will also have the sense of freedom and will feel supported. This is one of the reasons why healthy couples do not ever seem to get bored with one another.
Distance can also be bad for a relationship. We are of course talking about the growing physical and emotional distance. It is quite normal to feel absolutely close at one time but detached at another. These are the normal phases of every relationship. However, what is not normal is when you let these distances grow. Healthy couples do not let this feeling feed on the love. Instead, they both make efforts to rekindle the torch to its original flame. This can sometimes be daunting but the secret is to never give up. Enough efforts and consideration will ensure that the distances never bury their claw into your love life.
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