THIS is the reason why nice guys stay single, and then people complain about nice guys not existing anymore.
Yes, we know! Always the nice guy and never the partner.
What is it about the nice guys that women find so repulsive? Well, maybe it’s because women want to be with someone who takes risk and who is fun to be around. Thrill is a very important component of every relationship and “nice guys” just cannot provide them with the much needed mental and emotional stimulation.
Women labeling someone as a “nice guy” is just their way of politely saying that the particular gentleman is not their type. Once you are labeled as the nice guy, you will automatically be seen as someone boring and predictable.
There are various psychological reasons why nice guys stay single:
They Play Nice
Nice guys play by the rules. They always follow the societal norms and are never out of line. Moreover, they do not take risks and that is why, become mundane and predictable. Women, especially in 21st century want thrill and excitement in their relationships and nice guys are always unable to provide it with their rule-following nature.
What to do about it?
Learn to take risks when it comes to dating. Take her to an amusement park instead of a formal dinner. Kiss her on the first date. Tell her that she has a nice body without worrying that you will offend her. There are countless ways that you can show the risk-taking side of your personality.
Power Dynamics
Nice guys do not think of the shift in power when it comes to dating. There has to be a perfect balance of 60-40. 60% power in the initial conversations should be with the guy and the girl should have 40% of it. This might seem complicated but it really isn’t. What this means is, that the nice guys do not lead the interaction, they talk about themselves and do not make the women invest. Moreover, they are too concerned with what their date will think of them and that is why they end up sucking up to them, giving up all of their power.
What to do about it?
Understand that as a man, you need to show a bit of dominance and decision-taking prowess.
Having an opinion
No, women do not want someone who will agree with them on everything. They want to be challenged and they want someone who can stand up for his views and opinions. Nice guys try to be polite by agreeing with the “lady” on everything. What they don’t understand is, that women do not want a suck-up. They want someone who can lead and who can take a stand for both himself and for them.
What to do about it?
Have an opinion and defend it. You do not need to agree to everything she says. If there is something you don’t agree with, speak up!
Apologetic
Nice guys are always apologetic for literally everything. They will immediately apologize if their hand brushes with their date’s hand or if they accidentally touch them. Women do not appreciate overly apologetic attitude. They want the show of dominance and control. A man should be unapologetic and do the things that he deems fit for the situation without being apologetic.
What to do about it?
Realize the fact that not every bad thing in the world is your fault. You do not need to apologize if the Air Conditioning of the restaurant you brought her to isn’t working.
Schema
Nice guys do not fit the pre-existing schema that exist in every woman’s mind. A man is supposed to be dominant, controlling, vocal and raw. This stereotype can be linked to the media influence but whatever it is, it is true. Women want the “classic man” and nice guys do not fit the criteria. Nice guys are seen as beta males and the women of 21st century want an Alpha male.
What to do about it?
Try to be a little assertive. Of course we are not asking you to revamp your whole personality but at least try to become a little assertive and dominant with the people around you. As a man, you are expected to show raw passion and desire as well as an attitude to lead.
Denying themselves
Nice guys are always denying themselves of the things they want in life due to the fear of societal judgments. Not being themselves is one of the biggest reasons why nice guys remain single. Women want someone who can be completely himself around them. Whereas, the nice guys are always troubled with what people think about them. And you know what? There is always a resentment that they are holding for themselves for not being able to do the things that they want
What to do about it?
Identify your needs and wants and try to fulfill them accordingly. You do not need to care about with people think. Be yourself and the women around you will stick by you instead of running away after a few dates.
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