It can get very draining having to work through bad relationships. Being in a toxic relationship can take a lot out of people emotionally. You constantly find yourself having to work at something that’s supposed to come easily. More importantly, you constantly lie to yourself.
It can get very draining having to work through a bad relationship. Being in a toxic relationship can take a lot out of people emotionally. You constantly find yourself having to work at something that’s supposed to come easily. You’re too proud to admit defeat and you still try your best to work at the relationship because you feel compelled to. Perhaps maybe sometimes, we’re too scared to face the repercussions of a break up. Maybe you’re just uncomfortable with conflict in general and you don’t want to have to initiate any difficult discussions.
You should know that forcing a relationship to work even when it really doesn’t is unfair to both you and your partner. You both deserve better people as partners to enrich your lives in love and relationships. When you find yourself caught in a bad relationship, just end things swiftly. Don’t prolong the agony by succumbing to lies and delusions. Here are the top 10 lies people in bad relationships tell themselves:
1. “Our relationship isn’t doomed, I can still fix things.”
This is one of the most common lies people in bad relationships tell themselves. Yes, relationships will require effort for them to work. However, you should also be familiar with the phrase “beating a dead horse.” Don’t be that person who’s still trying to work at a relationship that’s so clearly doomed. You need to heed the signs from the universe to move on when the time is right. Don’t prolong the agony of a breakup by trying to fix an irreparable object.
2. “Arguments are normal in relationships, right?”
Yes. Disagreements can occur. Yes. Arguments happen. Conflict is inevitable. However, when you’re caught in an endless loop of recycled arguments, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationship. You’re probably never going to find a middle ground. You have to come to terms that your wavelengths will never jive and your differences are just irreconcilable. If you can’t push past your perpetual state of argumentation, then your relationship is really doomed.
3. “My partner can’t live without me.”
No. Don’t use that as an excuse. Your partner will be fine. And even if they won’t, that shouldn’t be any of your concern. You also have a life of your own that you deserve to live. The both of you together just isn’t a right mixture. You’re only doing yourselves more harm by delaying the inevitable. Learn to be strong and go your separate ways. Find other people who you can grow together in love with.
4. “I still love him/her though…”
That may very well be the case. We don’t want to question your love for another person. However, you just have to realize that sometimes, love really isn’t going to be enough. There are plenty of relationships that are filled with love that just don’t have happy endings. It doesn’t make your love any less real. Life just has a way of messing up our plans and feelings like that. The best we can do is adapt and move on.
5. “But we’re already living together.”
So get a new apartment. Start living on your own again. You don’t have to tie yourselves down for the rest of your lives just because you share a common space. You’re meant for better things and you shouldn’t be afraid to let go of things that torment you. You’re strong enough to be on your own and so is your partner. You’ll both be fine at the end of a breakup. Don’t worry.
6. “It’s difficult now, but it’s harder being single.”
rust us. Being single is a lot more emotionally fulfilling than it is being in a bad relationship. You have more time to yourself. You can devote more time to working on new hobbies, reading new books, and just trying to become a new person overall. You’re left care-free without all the emotional baggage of a toxic relationship that just continues to wear you down day by day.
7. “I don’t want to hurt his/her feelings.”
Pain is part of love. Both of you signed up for this relationship knowing full well that both of you will possibly end up getting hurt in the process. Don’t be afraid of pain. It’s a tool for growth.
8. “I’ve invested so much of myself into this, I should see it through.”
No you don’t. Cut your losses. An investor who refuses to cut his losses on a failed business is just asking for a disastrous future.
9. “Maybe I’ll do it after…”
Nope. Don’t wait after a birthday. Don’t wait until after the holidays. If you keep this mindset, you’ll always find an excuse to delay the inevitable. Get things over with so the both of you can move on with your lives as soon as possible.
10. “What if my next relationship will be worse?”
It may be better, it may be worse. The point here is that the relationship that you’re in NOW is bad and that’s all that should matter. Get yourself out of that sinking ship and try your best to swim to safety.
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