You definitely need to answer these five questions before making any decisions.
Love is such a tricky aspect of human experience. On one hand, it’s the one thing that most of us spend a bulk of our lives searching for, and on the other hand, it can be the source of much of our pain and disappointment.
Nevertheless, the pursuit for love in our lives has always been constant. We always try our best to go after the love that we think we deserve because we know that we can’t afford to settle for anything less. We are all deserving of love and we chase after whatever prospect we can get.
Whenever there’s a slim possibility for us to grab love, we take it, no matter how small. We try our best to work the chances to our advantage, and we never compromise in our desires for that perfect romance we all think we deserve. The problem with that is that we tend to rush into what we perceive as opportunities for love even though they’re not genuine romantic experiences at all. A lot of times, we get love mixed up with other emotions, and this confusion is what leads us to disappointment and emotional turmoil.
It’s hard to say for certain whether the social experience that you’re currently caught up in is genuine love or not. There are too many factors in play in order for you to say for sure. However, you are always the best judge of the situation because you’re actually living it. Just be careful to be gradual in opening your heart up to something that isn’t really love at all. You need to stay guarded and strong at all times; otherwise, you will indeed be susceptible to pain and heartbreak.
So how do you know for sure whether you’re really in love with someone? How do you know when your relationship is one that is filled with love as opposed to just mere lust and infatuation? How do you know when your interest for someone has grown from mere fascination to pure passion? Only you can answer those questions, but we’re here to help you figure out the answers. You should be confident enough to answer these 5 basic questions in order to find out where you really stand in your relationship:
1. Is sex the driving force in your relationship?
While having a healthy and active sex life is indeed an important aspect of any relationship, it shouldn’t be its driving force. If you constantly finding yourself lusting after your partner more than you crave for your partner’s company or conversation, then you’re probably just in it for the lust. Not to say that your lust can’t eventually evolve into love someday; it’s just you haven’t necessarily reached that level of intimacy in your relationship yet, and you probably should hold off on saying the “L” word.
2. Are you uncomfortable with being open to each other?
If you don’t think it’s appropriate to be sharing your secrets and deep feelings with each other yet, then you’re likely not in love with each other. People who are genuinely in love have no problem with opening themselves up to one another. They know the value of being honest with each other because they know that their partner can offer them valuable perspective about anything they might be feeling or dealing with.
3. Do you have a deep and profound friendship?
The best kinds of romantic relationships are built on solid friendships. You can’t expect to have a profound and meaningful romantic relationship with a person you’re not genuinely friends with. You need to establish a basic social connection with someone and that starts with establishing a level of friendship. Once you’ve established a sense of friendship with your partner, then maybe you have the potential to grow into something with more depth and purpose.
4. Do you often feel jealous and deprived of time?
The most solid and legitimate couples are those who have no insecurities with each other and never feel like they have the right to be jealous. These people know where they stand in their relationships and that their relationships are built on solid foundations. They don’t ever have to worry about getting jealous because they know their partners would never ever do anything to betray their love and trust. These kinds of couples also never feel like they have to steal time away from each other because they inherently make time for each other.
5. Do you still see your partner as idealized versions of themselves?
The best and perfect kind of relationships are those that are able to acknowledge their own imperfections. They know that their partners are flawed and will always have some failures every now and then. They know they have a long way to go when it comes to individual development, but they’re there to push each other to become the best possible versions of themselves.
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