The fairy tales and Hollywood happy endings have misled us and left us completely ignorant of the hardships, complications, and uncertainties that marriage can bring.
In the days of our youth, we were susceptible to overly sensationalized ideas of marriage. We were led to believe that marriage was composed of pure bliss, magic, and harmony. The fairy tales and Hollywood happy endings have misled us and left us completely ignorant of the hardships, complications, and uncertainties that marriage can bring. There are many things about marriage that have been kept secret to us, and so a lot of us tend to be blindsided going into a marital union. We only really figure out how hard the married life is once we’re already there and there’s no backing out.
Don’t worry. Your days of ignorance will be a thing of the past. This article aims to shed light on those who are left in the dark when it comes to committing to the married life. Spoiler alert: it’s not all going to be rainbows, chocolates, and happy dancing roses. Marriage has a lot of ugly sides that you need to be aware of as early as now. Here are some of the things that you don’t know about marriage:
1. Passionate nights in the bedroom won’t occur as often as before.
It’s normal. It’s not something you should be worrying about. While it is healthy to have an active sex life with your spouse, it’s not necessarily a requirement. Sometimes you will go home feeling tired and overwhelmed from living that adult life, all you want to do is curl up in your bed and sleep. You have responsibilities now, and your sex life might have to take a backseat.
2. Difficulties that test the strength of your relationship will arise.
Your relationship will go through so many trials and difficulties, it may get a little overwhelming. However, you must remain confident that your union is strong enough to be able to withstand whatever hurdles are thrown your way. Find solace in the fact that the dynamics of your relationship will be enough to pull you through.
3. It takes a LOT of work to make a marriage last.
Marriage isn’t as smooth-sailing and as easy as they make it out to be. Marriage has lots of ugly sides, and you will be forced to face and address all of them throughout the course of your union. You won’t always like it, but you now that it’s a necessity
4. Love is not going to be a constant driving force.
At times, you will find yourself questioning whether your love is real or whether it’s strong enough to carry you over whatever problems you are forced to face. You will question the legitimacy of your relationship, and you will start rethinking how you feel about your spouse. Know that these doubts are normal, and they can weasel their way into even the strongest of marriages.
5. Times will come wherein you think about ending things.
Sometimes, things may get very difficult to the point wherein you think you want to end things. You may want to quit and give up. The allure of going back to a free-spirited single life may be strong, but you have to be able to persist despite the temptations to just quit.
6. You will become different people as you grow together.
You will change. Change is the only constant in life. You won’t end up being the same people who you were when you got married, and that’s okay. The point of marriage is finding someone with whom you can grow and develop with as you get older.
7. You lose some of your previous freedoms.
Your life is no longer entirely your own, and you need to make some compromises. House rules will be set. You have to take into consideration that you are sharing your life with another person, and the rules must be followed in order to promote balance and harmony.
8. It can get complicated having relationships with other men.
This can vary depending on what kind of husband you’re going to have. However, a lot of husbands will be uncomfortable with you getting unnecessarily close with other men. Your husband should serve as your best friend anyway. He is your life partner, and it would hurt him to know that you are seeking attention and solace under other men in your life.
9. Your love life will experience ruts.
It’s not always going to be exciting. The married life is a grind that you have to continue to work with every single day of your life. Yes, there will be times of excitement, but they will never be a constant. A bulk of marriage is composed of routine and you have to be comfortable with that.
10. You will lose your sense of embarrassment.
You will slowly develop a sense of comfort with your spouse to the point where nothing you do could ever turn them off anymore. You will do disgusting things that you normally wouldn’t do in the presence of other people, but you’re practically the same person at this point.
11. The work required to make a marriage last is worth it.
Marriage is hard. It takes a lot of work. You will find yourself doubting yourself a lot of the time. You will get overwhelmed. But despite all the difficulties, you know that your marriage is always worth it.
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