Love should come naturally, and it should never be forced.
There is no denying that as human beings, we all have this innate sense to search for love within our lifetimes; particularly, the romantic kind of love. This could be due to the influence of society and media, but the fact of the matter is that people are always searching for that special someone with whom they can spend the rest of their lives. At some point though, a lot of us can crave for love a little too much to the point where we can deceive our own selves into thinking that the “love” we are experiencing with someone is real even when it isn’t.
It becomes incredibly sad when we start to get too caught up in the hysteria of searching for that one perfect love story, we end up devaluing ourselves the whole time we are single. When our sense of self-worth hinges on whether or not we are in a relationship, then one must reevaluate one’s values and priorities in life.
Relationships shouldn’t be everything, and you should always have a valuable life beyond just a romantic partnership with another person. If you find yourself guilty of some of the things that will be listed here, then you are a little too emotionally dependent on the idea of romance. This dependence can lead to you tricking yourself about whether you’re in love or not.
Love should come naturally, and it should never be forced. Love isn’t always going to be perfect, but it should be beautiful enough to make you want to work for it. Love understands that you also have your own time for yourself, and that independence is just as important as being in a relationship. Don’t fall victim to being someone whose entire sense of dignity rests on a relationship.
1. You experience extreme bouts of jealousy.
If you are extremely possessive and territorial about your relationship, then that is a red flag for having an unhealthy attitude in love. You can’t stifle your partner to a point wherein you have to be a constant part of his/her life. You have to be okay with letting your partner talk to other people or engage in other activities that don’t concern you.
2. You have stopped having a life outside of your relationship.
Maybe you used to paint before you met your boyfriend. Maybe you used to play the guitar often before you met your girlfriend. If you stop doing the things that you are passionate about as a result of being in a relationship, then you are just losing important parts of your being.
3. You experience constant anxiety about the state of your relationship.
You get nervous whenever your partner sends a random text message to you because you think it could be bad news. You stress yourself out whenever you have arguments because you don’t want it to strain your relationship. You can’t let the state of your relationship completely take over the status of your mood.
4. You deprioritize everything else for your partner.
You can’t just give everything else in life up for the sake of your relationship. You have to learn to keep everything in moderation and establish a proper balance for everything. Yes, it’s okay to favor your relationship to some extent, but not if it means disregarding your career, friends, or family.
5. Your sense of self-worth is dependent on what your partner thinks.
You have no sense of self-worth that is entirely your own. You are only validated by your partner and his or her opinions are more important than yours. You are no longer your most staunch critic and judge because you’ve entrusted those roles to your partner.
6. You expend so much energy into thinking about how your relationship looks from the outside.
You want your relationship to look picture perfect from the perspective of onlookers regardless of how you’re feeling on the inside. You are more concerned about how everyone feels about your relationship than the things that are going on in your heart.
7. You treat your partner as a personal science project.
Your partner is not some science project that you can work on and make better for your personal amusement. If you truly love someone, you should learn to accept them for who they are, and only push them to become the best versions of themselves.
8. You are too controlling and demanding of your partner.
You don’t allow your partner the freedom to operate without your control. You always want things done a certain way and you are intolerant of other points of view. You think that you are the only one who should be calling the shots in the relationship.
9. You think your life would crumble if you and your partner weren’t together.
You have lost all sense of self-dependence because you think that you would evaporate into non-existence should your relationship ever fail. You can’t imagine yourself going on in life without being in this relationship, and that’s not a healthy mentality to have.
10. You treat your partner as your only source of happiness.
Have some other sources of happiness. Go travel. Read a good book. Try out a new hobby. Start hitting the gym. Find other ways to be happy, and don’t rely solely on your relationship.
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