There is no denying that among the most difficult lessons that human beings are eventually going to have to learn, it’s very important for one to know that not everyone is going to turn out as you initially expected. While at face value, it may seem like you are someone they are very much invested in, the truth may be otherwise.
This is a lesson that you will learn over time as you meet more and more different kinds of people. You just have to maintain a strong chin, and do not let your ego get the better of you. You should only be willing to fully invest yourself in the people who are also willing to invest as much in you. There is no point in prioritizing a person who just doesn’t think that much of you as well.
We’ve all been through that. We have found ourselves in relationships wherein there are blatant imbalances in the dynamics of social interaction. We can find ourselves giving and giving, and in the end, we barely get any scraps. We may not even know when we victimize other people in this manner. y They may be devoting a lot of time and emotional energy into us even when we don’t think much of them. The key is to find out early on whether you are really a person’s priority or not. If you find that you aren’t, then just move on and make any necessary adjustments. If you find that some of these examples listed here are applicable to you, then you should reassess your relationship now.
1. You find yourself uninvited to important events and social gatherings.
If you really ranked high on someone’s priority list, you would find yourself invited to important events and parties. However, when your name isn’t on the guest list a lot of the time, then you have to consider the possibility that you are far from being a VIP – a very important person.
2. They are always struggling to remember the details of your life.
If a person really cared about you, they would be hanging at every single word you say. Even the simplest most nuanced details about your life would be important information for them, and they would always make an effort to remember it.
3. You only get valuable time with each other as a result of last minute planning.
You are never the beneficiary of a date or an outing that has been planned for a long time. If you constantly find yourself being in the company of someone who only asks you out last-minute, then that means you weren’t the first person who was asked. There is probably a long list of people who declined an invitation to go out before you were considered an option.
4. They tell you that your hysterics are a result of you being needy.
Whenever you call your partner out on your observations, they will turn the tables on you and say that you’re just being obsessive and needy. They will start to victimize you instead in an effort to deflect the blame and divert the spotlight to someone else.
5. They only reply to your texts or answer your calls when they need something.
Your text messages and phone calls always go unanswered. You aren’t important enough for a person to warrant an immediate and prompt reply. The worst part is, the answered phone calls and text messages are only a result of ulterior motives. They want something from you and that’s the only reason they’re giving you attention.
6. You find yourself being the only one exerting much effort into the relationship.
If you think the relationship would crumble the moment you stopped trying to make it work, then that is definitely a bad sign. It means that there is an imbalance between the two of you and that you’re the only one who is actually acting like the relationship is still worth saving.
7. They bail on you.
Important events? Scheduled dates? If this person is constantly bailing on you, then that most definitely you are always being deprioritized for something else. It’s a matter of accepting that you are not an important aspect of this person’s life and that they would have no problem blowing you off for another option.
8. You are always finding yourself defending your partner.
You make excuses for your partner’s bad behavior because somehow, you still want to believe that they don’t mean to be rude to you. However, you should just face the facts and accept that you care more about this relationship than your partner does.
9. They make you wait and they don’t value your time.
Time is a gift, and it is a valuable one at that. If another person deliberately wastes your time, then that means they don’t consider you a valuable commodity in their life. You are someone they would willingly disrespect and you shouldn’t tolerate that at all.
10. You are unhappy with the relationship.
If you are unhappy, then something is causing your unhappiness. Most likely, there is something wrong in the relationship, and you need to figure out your next course of action. Is it really worth saving a relationship that makes you unhappy?
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