Nice to meet you, you must be the robot. The remote control that Curtis has to use on you looks impressive. Just kidding!
Let us briefly talk about control freaks. Honestly, they are a pain in the gluteus maximus (GM) – both cheeks. It always feels like one step forward and three back. You doubt yourself, do you not? Control freaks feed on this like flies do with fecal matter. So how can you tell if what Curtis does is what control freaks do? We will give you five things that these peeps do to keep you hooked.
5 THINGS CONTROLLING PEOPLE WILL DO TO KEEP YOU UNDER THEM
1. CHRONIC CRITICISM
Even though you cleaned the toilet impeccably, a spider fell in and you have to do it again, otherwise it is not clean at all. You won money on the lottery but “it was only $10”. You got a promotion at work – why did you not get it three years ago? You bought a new Toyota? “Well it should have been a new Mercedes”. You play your favourite music while you are in the shower – they turn it off and ask you “why you listen to such awful music”. Whatever you do is never the right thing for them, what you like is scoffed at in a mean fashion. In their mind, they and their particular tastes are superior – no matter how quirky or perverse they are.
2. GUILT TRIP
This sign shows true manipulation at work, making you feel bad something you want. “I will feel (INSERT NEGATIVE EMOTION HERE) if you…”, “If you loved me, you would…”, “You really should (not)…”, and others. A normal relationship of any kind has understanding in it, but this is not in the quintessential control freak’s behaviour. They are self-serving and use you to get whatever they want without lifting a finger, such is their spell over you.
3. OVERLY QUESTION
This is like being on Bob Barker’s The Price Is Right except your prize for getting a question right is… (drum roll) …another question. More like Bill Baker’s The Price Is Wrong! They do not understand your answers, they make (wrong) assumptions about your answers, they distort your answers to give them an opportunity to have a beef with you. The next thing you know, you are playing “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” in punches and insults… without the lifelines. For $1 million, “Where are we going for dinner tonight, retard?” Take your time, you only have a bag of frozen peas on your eye.
4. NO INTEREST IN YOUR OPINION
Your opinion means squat to them. It is their way or the highway (next exit at…). Here is an example of this:
– Honey, I’m going to go with the bros to the club tonight.
– The hell you are. You are taking me to that Italian restaurant tonight.
At the Italian restaurant
– Please be sensible with what you order this time.
– I’ll have the lobster salad to start, followed by the the surf n turf main. Dessert can be a nice pannacota to share. Remember to order the beluga caviar on bread and make it a Moet this time, that sparkling wine BS was gross. I love you, boo!
5. WHEN YOU NO LONGER ACCEPT THEIR BEHAVIOR, THEY SAY: “YOU HAVE CHANGED”
Correct, for the better! This is when you finally see them for what they truly are and have kicked them into touch. Yet they can never be the problem, can they? They are far too, um, superior to be the problem. With control freaks, nothing is ever their fault. They are perfection personified, after all. Your pain is lifted and euphoria sets in thanks to your new-found freedom.
Does this sound like Curtis? These people are nothing but chancers. They accept nothing in terms of responsibility but love being the cat that got the cream. They love nothing more than making a mess but order you to clean up afterwards. It is why they are a big pain in the GM.
The end (for real this time!).
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