Every love filled relationship becomes more open and vulnerable over time, and because of this comfort level, we might have a tendency to say things that are more harsh than something we might say to a total stranger. We might even do it without meaning to by nagging, arguing, being contrarian to their ideas, or contradicting them in front of others. These things can wear down a relationship like water flowing over the ground. Eventually that water will cut a groove that grows into a chasm separating us from each other.
So, how can we fill in that canyon or build a bridge across it and reconnect with our partner? We can start by building them up instead of wearing them down.
DOING THESE 5 THINGS WILL SHOW YOUR PARTNER THAT YOU TRULY LOVE THEM
1. ACCEPT THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE
The first thing you can do is stop thinking you can make them better or fix them. They don’t need fixing. If they decide they want to change or better themselves, then you can certainly support them, but it is not up to you to make them who you wish them to be. Love them without conditions or stipulations. Give to them without strings attached or expectations of repayment. That is not how it works. Accept them for who and what they are, warts and all. The most important thing is to tell them you love and accept them the way they are. Remind them every day how much you love them and express gratitude for them being in your life.
Overlook their faults and focus instead on their strengths and positive attributes. If you enter into a relationship thinking that the other person is a fixer-upper and you can change them, then you have already started breaking the relationship. That attitude is toxic and will lead to frustration and resentment when your partner continues being who they are instead of who you wish they were.
2. COMPLIMENT OFTEN AND SINCERELY
Compliment them every single day. Tell them how beautiful they are and how much you enjoy spending time with them. Pay attention to them and notice little things like their new shirt or haircut. Everyone likes to be noticed and complimented on their appearance or intelligence. Let them know, verbally, how much they mean to you.
3. SHOW INTEREST IN THE THINGS THEY LIKE
The universe does not revolve around you. Your partner likes things too and those things may be different than the things you like. If you always have to have your way, see the movie you want to see, eat at the restaurant that you want to eat at or visit the place you want for a vacation, then it gets old for the other person. Try doing the things they want to do, seeing the places they want to see or asking about things they are interested in. Everyone likes to receive attention and enjoy talking about the things they find interesting. Do things together even if you aren’t that into whatever they enjoy. They will enjoy sharing it with you, and who knows, you might even like it.
4. BE PATIENT WITH THEM
If you ask your partner for help doing something, but it is not an emergency, don’t go back five minutes later and start griping about why they haven’t started yet. Give them time to get things done. There may be something they need to do that has a higher priority or is time sensitive. Let them get it done within the schedule they have to work with. If it is a legitimate emergency or time sensitive, then make sure they are aware of it before you start flipping out. They won’t know if you don’t tell them. Nagging them every five minutes is not going to get it done any faster. Let them handle it and tell them you are confident that they can get it done.
5. BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT THEY DO
No one likes an ingrate. Be grateful for them and everything they do for you. Let them know you are grateful as well. Tell them how much you appreciate what they do and how hard they work to provide for or take care of the family. Be genuinely grateful and give them more than a quick “hey thanks” you might toss a total stranger for holding the door for you.
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