“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean,” wrote Maya Angelou.
If we hold on to our unhappiness, it only grows more powerful. Emotional pain destroys us inside. Working through it is more difficult, but it’s the only real way to heal and grow.
ARE YOU HOLDING ON TO ANGER, BITTERNESS, OR DISAPPOINTMENT?
Here are four ways to set yourself free:
1. LEARN TO FORGIVE
True forgiveness is a difficult thing to accomplish. However, it makes us much stronger in the end. It heals us. It addresses the negativity that has been consuming our heart, and it takes away its power. Forgiving someone does not mean forgetting the experience. Part of the growth process is learning to take care of ourselves and not repeat the same mistakes. Go forth wiser, stronger, and with a renewed sense of self. Forgive for your own sake – not for those who have hurt you. Take your pain and make it into something beautiful.
2. LIVE IN THE NOW
When we have been wounded, it is easy to live the rest of our lives in that moment. We become trapped in the past. Our minds have moved on, but our hearts haven’t. When you find your consciousness drifting to a past trauma, acknowledge it, and then replace its spot in your awareness with something current and positive. For example, you might see a picture of an ex-boyfriend and think to yourself “He cheated on me. We broke up. It hurt so much. Today, I am up for a promotion at work. I feel proud, successful, and valuable. The sun is shining. Today is a good day.”
3. WORK THROUGH YOUR LIMITATIONS
We all have beliefs that are self-limiting. They are so ingrained in our subconscious that they can become our truth. We feel we are not strong enough, not smart enough, or not beautiful enough. We may even believe we are unworthy or unlovable. Then, we allow ourselves to act accordingly. We create our reality. We become these things. These beliefs can keep us trapped in our emotional pain and stop us from moving forward. They may even deepen our wounds. Confront them head-on. Find tools that work for you in changing your beliefs on every level. Positive affirmations, art therapy, community service, and meditation work for some. Find what makes you feel good about yourself. Immerse yourself in it. Become the person you’ve always known you could be.
4. QUESTION WHAT YOU KNOW
We are programmed by family, society, the media, and thousands of other sources to think in certain ways. These constructs are often deeply intertwined with our emotional pain. When you run into these thought patterns, ask yourself if you truly believe them. Are skinny women really more beautiful? Does wealth truly indicate worthiness? Do I need a partner to be happy and whole? Is there something wrong with me if I choose not to have children? How do I personally define success? Identify and investigate your beliefs. Take what serves you, and leave the rest.
“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them. I tie no weights to my ankles,” wrote C. JoyBell C..
REMOVE YOUR OWN WEIGHTS. ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE LIGHT AGAIN. I PROMISE YOU’LL LOVE HOW IT FEELS.
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