We just think that relationships are ended after a major fight or mistake, but the truth is different, relationships are destroyed by some of the seemingly small things you may be doing everyday. Breakups don’t happen overnight – or by accident- they happen because of small, yet significant, mistakes. Here are the top five major mistakes you could be making that are destroying your relationship.
1. You harbor your negative emotions.
When things get a little rocky, your instinct is to calm the situation right away. While holding in any negative emotions will resolve the issue quickly, it will eventually end up resurfacing in the form of jealousy, resentment, or paranoia. In the end, holding in even the smallest negativities will suck the happiness and love out of any relationship.
2. You’re laying all the blame on your partner.
Think about the last fight you had. If you mainly spoke about your partner’s actions, you may need to step back and reevaluate. Maybe your request wasn’t as clear or rational as you thought it had been.
Every relationship is a two-way street, and as much as you try to deny it, your partner isn’t the only one to blame when something goes wrong. The more you start focusing on your own actions, the sooner you’ll begin to see patterns in your behavior, and be able to fix the situation.
Not to mention, throwing all the blame on another person can feel like an attack, which is never the way an interaction with the person you love should feel.
3. You neglect yourself.
Neglecting to take care of your appearances can mean your comfortable with your partner, but it’s a slippery slope to neglecting your own feelings and your own identity. When you neglect yourself emotionally, you become dependent on your partner for validation and your self worth, which feeds your fear of being rejected. No relationship will last when you’re constantly afraid of being rejected.
When you learn to take care of yourself separate from your relationship, you’ll be less fearful of rejection, which in turn, lets you open your heart more fully to loving your partner.
4. You’re Acting Like You’re Single, Financially
Dealing with finances as a couple should be fairly straightforward. You’re supposed to be equals, so it only makes sense that you should split everything. Everybody kicks into the pot, the bills get paid and money becomes an unimportant issue because hey, you’re in love! Love is all you need! The Beatles said so and you’ve always taken your love advice from bands that broke up more than 40 years ago!
There’s nothing more likely to sink a relationship than financial matters. Being in a long-term relationship – especially if you’re living together – means you need to sort out your financial situation ASAP. The sooner you establish the ground rules, the less likely it is to ruin an otherwise happy situation.
5. You’re Letting Sex Just “Happen”
One of the biggest lies that we tend to absorb is that we shouldn’t think too much about sex. Sex is best when it is utterly spontaneous and the best way for sex to occur is that you throw yourselves at each other like a couple of weasels in heat when you happen to have a free moment.
The strength of your relationship is measured by how often any alone time turns into the two of you sucking face like a couple of hogs eating the same banana. If you really love each other sex will just happen. If the sex happens to slow down (or stop all together)… well that’s a sign that something’s wrong. You’re probably not doing enough to help your partner relax and get in the mood.
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Source: Life Daily