Creating a happy relationship is really hard. It takes patience, communication, understanding and, most of all, love. But is there anything better than that?
People who are involved in happy relationships usually know it. You can tell when you’re happy, don’t you?
However, if you are still in doubt, you can read 18 of the most important moments and habits happy couples share. Maybe you’ll find yourself in there!
1) Each person spends some time on his/her own
If you are with your boyfriend/girlfriend all of the time, then your relationship is in danger. Spending time together is good, spending amazing time together is even better, but you need to spend sometime with yourself too. In other words you need to have a live without you significant other. Friends, family, hobbies, a job maybe; if you can’t be happy by yourself, then how will your relationship turn you into a happy person? Joy comes from within and that’s why everyone should take care of his/her own happiness. In addition, your relationship should help you be open to the world and not capture you.
2) They trust each other
Trust is one of the most important values in a relationship. Everyone has their doubts sometimes, but you can’t be suspicious all the time. Of course you need to be trustworthy too. Even the simplest lies – or the lies that seem to be simple – can harm your relationship. Honesty seems hard but it actually isn’t. It’s the easiest way to build a true, faithful, meaningful relationship.
3) They don’t let others run their relationship
There will always be people who will not understand your relationship. “Why are you with him/her?” is a question we all have heard at least once in our lives. The reasons can be many: age, appearance, distance and so many others. However you know better than any other why you love your significant other. If you’re not sure about that, then the problems is absolutely yours. But if you are, then why listening to others? Tell them kindly that you, only you, will decide if this relationship is good for you.
4) They don’t compare their relationship to anyone else’s
This can come as additional to what I said before. You need to understand that relationships differ from one person to another. Some couples spend much time together when others don’t. Some couples want to stay at home most of the time while others prefer to go out. There is no wrong or right couple, as long as everyone is happy and accomplished. So there’s no reason to compare your relationship to anyone else’s.
5) Affection is really important
Verbal and body affection is essential for a happy couple. It’s not only about sex – though it’s very important for a relationship too. It’s also about intimacy, especially when we’re talking about a long-term relationship. Sex will not be as great as it was at the beginning, but intimacy can really help the relationship last.
6) They don’t try to change each other
That’s especially for women, but for men too. You need to accept your significant other with all of his/her flaws. That’s why you fell in love with this person. You could never change them, but even if you could, what would be the point? You’d only create another person, a person you don’t really love. On the other hand, you also shouldn’t change yourself for someone else. You need to be loved for who you are and when you find a person who loves you for that, then (s)he’s the right for you.
7) They spend relaxing and joyful time together
Even if you both have busy schedules, you need to find some time for each other but attention! You need to make this time worth it. Your boyfriend/girlfriend should make you relax and have fun, even if you have just had the worst day of your life. That’s what relationships are for.
8) They don’t hold grudges to each other
As I may have previously mentioned, communication is essential for a happy relationship. There are many reasons why you need to communicate well with your partner and one of them is to prevent yourselves from holding grudges. Some things are too obvious, but still your partner can’t understand every single thing you are thinking about just by looking in your eyes! So, talk to each other. Share your problems, your thoughts, your complaints. Don’t ever forget to be honest because most problems start with lack of communication.
9) They listen to each other
Do you think you know your partner? Do you know their deepest fears, their strongest desires and their opinions about the world? If you’re not sure about the answer, then you may need to listen to them more. And always remember this: Don’t listen so you can reply, listen to understand.
10) They know how to cheer each other up
When your partner knows how to make you laugh uncontrollably even when you’re really angry about something, then congratulations! You’ve found the perfect love! Don’t forget to be there for them too, when they need you.
11) They share their goals and help each other achieve them
A happy relationship is not only about spending time together, watching movies or gossiping. Deeper conversations are essential as well as knowing each other’s dreams. In addition, you both need to be supportive when your partner talks to you about their goals.
12) They understand that sometimes someone needs to compromise
…as long as it’s not always you! Happy couples are not selfish. They can have a good time just by being together. You might want to have fun in a different way than your partner but you can do them a favour once in while. Compromising can help you solve more serious problems sometimes as long as both of you are still happy.
13) They can admit their own mistakes
That’s another reason why you should not be selfish. Blaming each other about everything is pointless. Take responsibility for your actions and respect the fact that your partner cannot always be wrong while you can’t always be right. Blaming them is a copout that accomplishes nothing. Either you both take equal ownership of the problems you two encounter, or the problems will own both of you.
14) They respect each other’s friends and family
Even if you secretly hate spending time your partner’s friends or if you think their mother is always testing you, you need to respect them because they’re the most important people in your partner’s life. You love them for who they are, so you should love their friends and family too.
15) They can forgive each other
Everyone makes mistakes, minor or serious. True love can forgive. And that’s something you ought to have in mind. Patience is simply the ability to let your light shine on the one you love, even after your fuse has blown. And forgiveness is knowing deep down that they didn’t mean to blow your fuse in the first place.
16) They remember the small things
Saying please and thank you shouldn’t be reserved for the company. Manners are important – even with the person you’ve been with for 20 years. Extend the same respect to your spouse as you would to a visiting guest. Say please and thank you, make polite conversation and why not offer your partner a drink? A few manners and niceties will go a long way to maintaining a culture of mutual respect.
17) They save some time and money to travel together or separately
A couple’s retreat can be energizing for a relationship, but so can traveling separately! Many happy, healthy couples take their own short vacations, or have regular trips away with a social group. Being alone, meeting new friends, or enjoying adventures without your partner can be very empowering. Ultimately, you will return to your partner energized, enthusiastic- and more in love than ever.
18) They never go to bed angry
There is an old saying, “never go to bed angry”. But is half-past midnight really the time to discuss a problem? If you have a disagreement in the evening, do not discuss things if you are both tired. Set a time to talk the following day, say goodnight, and sleep on it.
Source: Thinking Humanity