I consider myself blessed to be surrounded by several people in my life who are in amazing relationships. Sure, I’d like to be in one myself someday, but in the meantime, it’s always great to see the people in my life happy. Being somewhat more observant than some, I’ve noticed a trend in these successful relationships that I find very interesting. They have much in common. Conversely, I’ve noticed the exact opposite trend in the relationships of the people around me that fall apart faster than a house of cards in a hurricane. That leads me to believe that there has to be a correlation there, right?
The one thing that the successful relationships of the people around me have in common is: you hear almost nothing about them on social media. Think about it…
We all have those friends that jump from one relationship to another, and post EVERY aspect of said failed dating endeavours online. One minute they’ve met “the love of their lives” and the next they are “single again.” At first, I thought maybe the correlation was just because people in long-term relationships just got tired of talking about their relationships. Or maybe that the people who were always reporting break-ups were just reporting the bad side of things. So, I did some digging. As it turns out, the people who habitually were in and out of relationships were constantly posting things about them from day one about their relationships. Basically, the more you heard about the relationship – the shorter the relationship was. For me, this phenomenon made a lot of sense for 3 reasons:
LACK OF COMMUNICATION
I have to believe that if someone is posting a day-by-day assessment of their dating life online, that there isn’t a lot of communication going on in the relationship. It’s one thing to comment on something sweet your significant other did every now and again, but if you’re having open discussions about every aspect of your relationship in an online forum like Facebook – you might want to reconsider how you are approaching issues with your partner. There are some things best kept behind closed doors.
One thing I think kills budding relationships that are blasted all over social media is the undue pressure that can create for the other half of that relationship. I mean, as a man, if the girl I was dating was constantly blasting our business on social media – that would create a lot of pressure for me to live up to whatever expectation she was creating. It’s one thing to show appreciation for something sweet, but to absolutely make our lives a part of some living drama to be played out on the internet is completely different. I mean imagine having to worry about having a conversation with your significant other because you know it will end up online for everyone to read.
LOSS OF “US”
In relationships, the best things are the things that no one but you and your partner experience. The little things that are sacred to just the two of you, and no one else. When your relationship is public knowledge, there are no such little moments that are just yours. It cheapens those experiences to share them with the world. If your significant other does something sweet or you are feeling a certain way about them – tell them, not the whole world.