They call it a break-up for a reason – it can shatter you into a million pieces. Even though it may not feel like it, though, life does go on, and it will get better. Give yourself time. When you do choose to re-enter the world of the living, you will want to do so with your whole self.
Here is my best advice for putting yourself back together when heartbreak happens:
Don’t apologize for your emotions – to yourself or to anyone else.
Learn to recognize the love around you – from your friends and family, from nature, and from the universe.
Read as much as you can. Chick lit, adventure novels, instruction manuals – anything goes.
Wander and explore – your world, your soul, your neighborhood – anywhere you are or want to be.
Learn to cook something new. Don’t share it – keep it all for yourself.
Cry at any time, in any place, for any reason.
Spend time outside. Go for a hike through the mountains or just sit on your front porch and watch the world go by.
Learn to play an instrument. Write a song about pain and love and who you are. Give yourself a midnight concert by candlelight.
Say “no” without feeling guilty.
Say “yes” without feeling guilty.
Do something kind for a friend.
Adopt a dog.
Go for a walk in the rain. Come home soaked and sink into a hot bubble bath. Light candles and play soft music.
Say whatever you want to – whatever feels right and needs to be said.
Redecorate your home. Make it a sanctuary.
Make good tea. Drink it with scones and a good book.
Design and discover the best version of yourself.
Say “I love you” – when you are ready and when you feel it. Say it to yourself, your mother, your cat, your best friend – anyone who will want to hear it.
Travel. Choose somewhere exiting that you’ve never been to before, and immerse yourself in the culture. Let it refresh you and renew your sense of adventure.
Belong to yourself. Love yourself. Depend on yourself.
Take all of this advice, or do none of it (except the last one. Do that.) Be who you want to be and do what you want to do. When you are healed and whole, you will thank yourself.
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