If you accept a job, a relationship, or a lifestyle that you merely tolerate but don’t appreciate, you’re putting other concerns ahead of your own happiness.
Social conditioning may have convinced you that sacrificing your happiness to maintain a certain amount in your bank account is the proper way to live.Perhaps your parents played a role in this conditioning as well, teaching you the importance of being responsible.
If you do these things well, then according to this conditioning, you are successful. You’re doing what’s expected of you, and no one could blame you for that.
But sooner or later you’ll come to realize that successfully paying the bills and satisfying other people’s expectations, while depriving yourself of a happy life you’re truly passionate about, is no success at all. In fact, it is complete failure.
If you’ve found yourself in this situation, then there’s something you do not understand about life.
While you may have been convinced that these duties are important, the truth is that they’re of no particular importance to people with high self-esteem and a positive sense of self-worth. Such people do not care how much money you make,what kind of provider you are, or how long you’ve been married to the same person. They’re much more curious about something else: how you feel about yourself.
If I meet people who earn very little money, can’t hold down stable jobs, and have constantly chaotic relationship lives. And yet, if they are happy with themselves, I usually find them fascinating people to have in my life.
When, however, I connect with people who are responsibly doing their duty, but who haven’t yet cultivated a life of happiness, I can’t help but notice the desperation in their eyes. They feel trapped and lost.
If you find yourself in such a situation, there is a way out, and it begins with finally acknowledging the truth to yourself and going into the dark places where you think it may lead. Accept your situation as it is, and most importantly, accept how you feel about it. The reality is that the darkness you fear is really nothing to fear at all. Yes, you may face some challenges, but that is how you’ll grow.
Do you love and appreciate your work? Do you love and appreciate your relationships? Do you love and appreciate your lifestyle? What is the truth?
You cannot find the truth so long as you remain in perpetual denial. No external rescue will appear. But there is indeed a path to freedom, and it lies on the side of truth and acceptance.
When you are happy, you can still support others if you wish, but this will be done because you truly want to do it, not because you feel obligated to do so.
When you are happy, you can still enjoy a stable career, but you’ll produce significantly more value in less time because happiness inspires creativity and action, and creative action brings opportunities which can, if so desired,produce wealth for you.
Rest assured, your world will not explode simply because you’ve decided to make your own happiness a real priority.
When I’ve made decisions that were aligned with my own happiness first, I’ve heard the frequent outcries of those objecting to my choices, but these objections came from those who weren’t happy with their own choices. My decision was a painful reminder of that, and hence I can understand, and forgive the momentary insanity on their part: the insanity which presumes that their being in unhappiness could possibly persuade me to join them.
It is easy to spot young girls who get into relationship with men because of money. They abandon guys who make them happy for rich guys, seeking identity.In such situations, their friends envy them but inside, they feel depressed and frustrated.
In all honesty which is more important to you: the approval of others, or your own happiness?
If you aren’t happy, you don’t approve of yourself, and hence no one can approve of you anyway. They will recognize plainly that your priorities have produced a failure of your life. If you place approval above your own happiness, you ultimately end up with neither. You’ll be unhappy, and you cannot expect anyone to truly approve of you for that. Whatever approval you do receive will be as fake as the contentment you pretend to harbor.
The approval of others is inconsequential, but if you successfully create a happy life for yourself, you will have your own self-approval, and that is worth something.