Let’s say you’ve been wanting to quit smoking for awhile, or you’ve really been wanting to start exercising. All of a sudden, you read something that motivates you … you’re ready to make the change!You have the determination to make this happen. That’s amazing. The question is: are you going to convert this determination into actual lasting change? How will you do that? The feeling of determination is wonderful, but it can be ephemeral. It doesn’t necessarily last for more than a...

by School Of Life on 12 May 2016

There’s a way of being that I’m trying to cultivate in myself — to let go of wanting others to be a certain way. Here’s the problem: we all get frustrated with other people. We want our kids to do certain things, our spouses to be less something or other, our friends to change their lives, our relatives to be healthier, other people to be less rude, etc etc. So what can we do about this? It can drive us crazy, but we can’t make it happen. It’s out of our control. Trying to change others,...

by School Of Life on 11 May 2016

Arrogance (too hot) Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. – Proverbs 16:18 Arrogance is overbearing pride that attempts to juxtapose others as inferior to yourself. Although this quality is considered honorable among Klingons, it tends to annoy human beings. Arrogance makes genuine socialization difficult because it paints others into a competitive position. By treating others as inferior to yourself, you invite them to respond to your opening move with a reactive counter-move....

by School Of Life on 11 May 2016

I’ll admit I do it as much as anyone else: see the cool things that others are doing and wish I were doing something cool like that too. You see great travel photos on Instagram and other social media — people living amazing lives, creating cool things, going on adventures. And instantly, there’s the thought that you should be living a better life. But this is the wrong habit. It leads to a feeling that your life isn’t good enough, that you aren’t good enough. And the habit doesn’t...

by School Of Life on 11 May 2016

Pretty much all of us experience frustration on a daily (or even hourly) basis. We get frustrated by other people, by ourselves, by technology, by work situations, by small crises that come up all the time. You know you’re frustrated when you find yourself sighing, or complaining about people, or fuming about something that happened, or going over why you’re right and they’re wrong. Frustration is normal, but holding on to frustration is not so fun. It’s not even helpful: if the situation...

by School Of Life on 9 May 2016

Difficult times are hard to avoid. Sometimes, life just wallops us against the head, deals us with such a blow that it takes our breath away. A loved one dies, you lose a job, someone you care about gets sick, your car gets totaled, or hopelessness hits you. What do we do when the world around us crumbles, when we can’t seem to find a way out? The times when things are falling apart are exactly the best times to practice mindfulness and compassion. These are the times we’re preparing for, in...

by School Of Life on 8 May 2016

Our feelings are a natural response to our thoughts and intentions. We don’t really choose our feelings directly. Our feelings are a feedback mechanism. They indicate whether we’re moving into alignment with our true desires (positive feelings) or out of alignment (negative feelings). Simply put… we feel good when we’re moving towards what we want, and we feel bad when we’re moving away from what we want. And that movement is more about thought and intention than it is about action. Feelings...

by School Of Life on 8 May 2016

Traditional dating is actually one of our society’s most ineffective inventions. The main reason it gets so much attention is the commercial engine that drives it. Restaurants, movie theaters, jewelers, etc. want you to believe that spending money on their products and services equals romance. If you’ve swallowed this belief system, I assure you that you’ve been duped. This belief system stems from marketing, not truth. It has virtually no connection to the realities of human relationships. If...

by School Of Life on 6 May 2016

If you work really hard to achieve your goals but don’t enjoy the journey, you’re delaying the essence of life. Committing to your goals doesn’t mean you slave away at work you dislike, celebrating only the destination. A real abiding commitment means that you love what you do each day. You are at least as passionate about the path as you are about the results. If you love the path you’re on, your passion motivates you to keep taking the next step. But passion alone isn’t enough. Passion...

by School Of Life on 6 May 2016

Deciding what to do with your life isn’t remotely easy. Most people never make this decision at all. But since we all end up doing something, if we don’t Choose your life consciously, then a decision will still be made, but it will be an unconscious one. If you don’t decide how you’re going to live, then someone or something else will decide for you. Most likely you’ll yield your life to a combination of unconscious influences, including your genetic predispositions, your upbringing,...

by School Of Life on 6 May 2016