No one lives a stress-free life, no matter how amazing or normal their lifestyle is. You may find yourself stuck in certain traumatic situations when you want everything to just stop, you start finding a “pause” button to life. The best way is to think and solve. This article focuses on six questions that you can ask yourself when you’re going through tough times.
1. Can I Live Without Him/Her?
If all else fails and you still find your relationship going down in flames, the last and most important question is to ask yourself if you can live without them. It’s one of the toughest things in the world to move on. The memories you create can never be deleted, they can never be forgotten, is it worth the amount of pain and trauma? Can you not give it one last shot even if it’s to not let the memories die?
Think about all the good times, think about when you cried in front of them and they held you and told you it’s okay. Think about when they made you laugh. Think about all the countless things you two did together that you probably won’t do the same way with anyone else again. Think, and make it work.
2. Do You Love Yourself Enough?
I write this all the time on my page and this website, we need to love ourselves before we can love others. You need to ask yourself, do you love yourself enough? Do you appreciate yourself enough? Are you satisfied with the person you are or are you constantly trying to be someone you’re not? You can only completely love someone once you completely love and accept yourself on your own.
It is not possible to give someone your care and attention without caring for yourself first. You can not let yourself go. You are a human being, you are an individual, you are precious to so many people who you don’t even think about, love yourself.
3. The Biggest Fear About Your Relationship?
Like I said earlier, we are often our biggest enemies. Sometimes, we let our fears take control and not let us open up. It’s perfectly natural to be scared and to fear something, but it’s not natural if you don’t do anything about it to make the fear go away. Ask yourself, what are you scared of the most in your relationship? Is it the fear of losing someone you trust blindly? Is it the fear of being cheated on? Is it the fear of being left alone? Is it the fear of what society will say? Is it the fear of failure? We all have our fears, we all need to sort them out. My biggest fear was being cheated on, because I was cheated on once before.
So when I got into this new relationship, I used to be paranoid. I used to look at her phone all the time, I used to ask her silly questions, I used to be a total and complete mess. But, I slowly realized it wasn’t her fault, she did not deserve to be treated that way because someone else left me with that hurt and immense fear. So I fought myself, I fought my fear out of my body. It has been a year and I haven’t been cheated on. It’s always good to let go of your fears.
4. Why Do You Feel Alone?
Sometimes, we are the biggest enemies of ourselves. If you’re in a good and happy relationship and you still feel a bit sad and empty, you need to ask yourself the cause. You need to ask yourself why you feel alone and empty. Is it the other person’s absense when you need them or is it your past still lingering on and not letting you completely live your life like you should? Do not be quick to blame your partner, think about it yourself first. In my case, I used to feel sad even when she kept trying her best to make me smile and laugh. I still felt alone even when she was there for me whenever I needed her.
After a while, she stopped putting so much effort and eventually I had to solve this myself because I did not want her to leave. It was my past, the demons of my past that haunted me in my sleep. After a long talk with myself (yes, it’s normal to talk to yourself), I had a long talk with her and she finally knew it wasn’t her who was the cause of my sorrows and she helped me get through it. It doesn’t hurt to ask yourself and speak up.
5. What Do You Love The Most About Them?
During times of trouble, you need to stop thinking about the bad and start focusing on the good. Your relationship will go through a lot of ups and downs, probably more downs than ups because you aren’t in a relationship with yourself, you’re in a relationship with someone with their own individuality, their own strengths and weaknesses. Ask yourself, what’s that one thing that you love the most about them? What is the one thing that you think of about them that makes you smile from ear to ear? Think about it, think hard. Smile. And go back to knowing why you love them so much.
6. Did I Give It My All?
The toughest question you can ask yourself befalls on your own actions and it’s the toughest question to ask yourself. You need to think about things and ask yourself if you’ve given it your best, if you’ve put the best of your efforts and if you’ve done all you could. We are critical people, we judge others before we even take a look in the mirror to judge ourselves, we are often the cause of a lot of problems and we don’t even know it.
Life is as easy as you want it to be and as impossible as you can make it for yourself. You may find your relationship struggling and you may think it’s the other person’s fault when it actually is you who’s to blame. It’s nothing to be shamed of, I blame myself for things that I do wrong all the time, it’s only human to make mistakes and it’s divine to know and not make them again.
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