Marriage is one of the biggest decisions of your life, to decide to spend the rest of your life with one person, to share everything with them and to give them all of you. It’s kind of scary but it’s also pretty exciting. We all have to get married at some point or the other, it’s a part of life like everything else that takes you forward and helps you grow.
I’m not going into the depths of marriage right now, that would be a different article altogether. I’m simply going to quote a few questions you need to ask your partner before you decide to tie the knot with them.
1. Have we discussed whether or not to have children and if the answer if yes, who is going to be the primary caregiver?
This question is one of the important ones. Having children is a big decision because they can change your life. Now whether they change it for the good or the bad is completely up to you.
2. Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals. And do our ideas about spending and saving match?
I’ve seen a lot of strong relationships go weak when it comes to the topic of money. Financial management should be a two-sided thing in which both the partners are happy and satisfied with each other. If one of the two decides to go on their own, that’s when the problems start happening. So keep a clear idea about this before you go on.
3. Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
Affection and romance should come on its own, you shouldn’t have to ask for it. The moment you feel its absence is a very scary moment and its when the two of you need to talk things out. When romance goes out the window, the relationship starts losing its spark.
4. Will we be a part of each other’s major decisions?
Being married means you two share one life. One life that’s going to have a lot of decision-making and a lot of big scenarios are going to appear in front of you that you’ll mutually need to decide on. Mutual agreement is key here and you need a lot of it together.
5. Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
We all have our own different social lives and that comes with us when we get married. Our friends will still remain a huge part of our lives and we can’t ignore that fact. You both need to mutually like and respect each other’s friends otherwise it may lead to problems later on. Respect each other’s right to have their own space when they need it, no matter how much two people love each other they still need to have their time with their friends.
6. Do we like and respect each other’s family?
This is a no-brainer. Family acceptance and love is an integral part of every marriage. If you have a problem with your partner’s family, learn to fix that problem and start loving them if you want your partner to be satisfied with you.
7. What does my family do that annoys you?
This is a continuation of the last question which helps fix the problem. Everyone’s family gets a bit annoying at some point and it’s vital to fix it right there and then.
8. Are we willing to give up anything for this marriage?
Compromise and sacrifice are big parts of even the most basic of relationships, and we are talking about marriage here. You need to be sure that both of you can do anything for each other no matter what.
9. If we are forced to move due to a few circumstances, will we be able to do it?
Unforeseen circumstances can happen to the best of us and we should always be ready for anything together. Sometimes, you’ll need to move, be sure you both have the strength to support each other during that time. This also works when one of you has to move because of a promotion or work.
10. Can I openly discuss my intimate side with you?
Complete openness in intimacy is very vital in every marriage/relationship. You need to be open enough to be able to say whatever you want to your partner. Physical intimacy and keeping things “fresh” is how you stay happy with your partner. So be sure to bring everything to the table without feeling shy, you guys are going to be married, no shame anymore.
11. Do we know everything about each other? Even the darkest of sides?
It’s damaging when a few things are exposed after marriage, it feels like you were lied to or something was hidden from you for a very specific reason, make sure you know everything about each other before tying the knot, we all have our dark memories and it’s completely normal to share them.
The last four questions you need to ask yourself and your partner are:
1. Do we see each other getting old (actually old) together?
2. Are we ready to give each other whatever we have, whenever we have?
3. Are we ready to accept each other, not just as human beings but as soulmates?
4. Is the sanctity of this relationship more important to us than our personal egos?
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